


Let's Be Plastic

by strawberrylemonade1225



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Jenna's a spy, M/M, Mostly Michael's POV, Pining, Pining Michael, and humor, everytime i post something new i just look at tags I used for other things and copy those lol, to be specific
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-20
Updated: 2017-09-03
Packaged: 2018-12-17 12:49:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 30,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11851917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberrylemonade1225/pseuds/strawberrylemonade1225
Summary: Pranks are supposed to be funny, right?Obviously, the funniest prank is to convince your friends that you're dating your best friend. Convince them that you're in love with each other for extra funny points.... Right?





	1. *Insert Camera Shutter Sound Effect*

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. I hate that summary but I can't think of anything better rn lol  
> 2\. I have read this chapter like 42 times byu now

Michael’s day had been pretty normal up until this point.

In fact, it had been rather boring between taking notes in English for some test on some book to doodling in the margins of his notebook during Algebra. He had been waiting for lunch where he could just kick back at the table and drown out all the other voices by pulling on his headphones. Well, doing that until Jeremy dragged him into some debate or Christine pulled him into some conversation.

Michael had been on his way to the lunchroom when he was yanked by his arm into a doorway of an empty classroom by someone. When he had collected his bearings, he looked across him to see the infamous Jenna Roland.

Now, he and Jenna are pretty chill with each other. They’re friends now, after all. Plus, they shared gym class, and whenever participation wasn’t necessary, they sat on the bleachers and just talked about whatever.

(Last class’ topics? Camouflage and Texas. What a mixture.)

He’s nervous to see her staring at him with such an intense look, fighting his impulse to ask if there’s something on his face. They stay quiet for a bit, and Michael can see Jenna looking into the hall, probably waiting until it clears. Her intensity and focus have him wondering what kind of dirt she could have possibly dug up about him.

Eventually, the squeak of sneakers and chattering voices die down and she turns back to Michael. She sighs and pulls her phone out of seemingly nowhere and unlocks it. Michael leans forward a little bit to see her scrolling through pictures until she finds what she’s looking for and turns the screen towards Michael, Michael’s face flooding with color as she scrolls through some of the pictures and eventually a video. She lowers the phone and squints at him.

He doesn’t really know why the next question shocks him as much as it does, though.

“When were you going to tell us that you and Jeremy are dating?”

… Let’s rewind a little bit.

***

**Picture number one: Jeremy and Michael hugging by Michael’s car**

**Proof Level: One star. There's nothing weird about friends hugging.**

Michael waited by his car for Jeremy to exit the school after play rehearsal. Jeremy didn’t know he was there, though; it was a surprise.

Jeremy eventually leaves, head hung and hands gripping tightly at his book bag straps. He doesn’t seem upset, though, just trying to be small, as usual.

He does look up as he gets to the bottom of the stairs. He looks around a little, eyes catching on Michael leaning against the door of his car with folded arms and a smile on his face. Jeremy’s blank expression shifts into a grin as he picks up his pace a little and meets him by the car.

“What are you doing here?” Jeremy asks when he gets to the car, the grin still present on his face. Michael's face feels warmer than usual.

“I'm here to give you a ride home, duh,” he answers, wringing his hands behind his back. “Also I'm crashing at your place for the weekend. We’re beating level seventeen of Apocalypse of the Damned even if it kills us.”

“That's the determination I like to hear,” Jeremy jokes, not really making a move to walk around the car and get in the passenger seat. Michael nods his head back and smiles wider.

“Get on in, dude. I stopped by 7-11 on my way here and got you those gross salt and vinegar chips you like, plus a coke.”

And suddenly, not only is his face warm, but his entire body is. Jeremy's hugging him and he gets over his initial shock pretty quickly to hug Jeremy back.

“Not that I don't love Jeremy hugs, but why am I getting one now?”

“I don't really know. I wanted to hug you, so I did.” Jeremy pulls back and Michael is left wishing that he never questioned it. “Thank you, man.”

“No… no problem.” He opens the car door and looks back at Jeremy again. “Now get your scrawny ass in my car.”

Jeremy laughs and gets in, buckling up and throwing his bag in the back before Michael pulls out of the parking lot, driving towards Jeremy's house.

***

**Pictures number two and three:**

**2\. Jeremy's arm is around Michael's waist.**

**Proof Level: Strong two and a half star. It's a little bit suspicious.**

**3\. Michael sitting on Jeremy's lap and laughing hard about something.**

**Proof Level: Four stars. Friends shouldn't look at home in their friend's lap.**

Michael is drunk.

Correction: Michael is absolutely shit faced.

He has no idea how he got to the point of being this drunk, but he knows he's there now, and everything seems less significant.

He does know that he's at a Valentine's day party at… someone's (Brooke’s) house, and he arrived with Jeremy. Jeremy, who has his arm around his waist to keep him from falling, or wandering off into the sea of drunk teenagers.

Eventually, they make it to a couch and there's one space open. Jeremy insists that Michael sits down, but Michael just gives him a look before shoving him down and climbing into his lap, the liquid sloshing in his cup.

Jeremy's mumbling and stuttering something, tense as ever and red as a tomato. For some reason, it's super funny to Michael and he laughs his head off.

His cup gets tugged out of his hand and his laughing turns into pouting. “Wha-?”

“You've had enough to d-drink,” Jeremy says, placing the cup on a side table out of his reach. “Are you sure that you… you don't just wanna sit here?”

“We're bros, Jer,” Michael started, dragging out the “o” in “bros”. “Don't make this… weird.”

“Jesus,” Jeremy mumbled under his breath. “Remind me to never let you drink again.”

Michael hiccups and Jeremy sighs, eventually relaxing. After a bit, he's pushing at Michael.

“Michael, I'm losing feeling in my thigh. Shift to the other on.”

Michael does so and Jeremy sighs again. “Why me…”

“Huh?”

“Nothing, buddy. Just go to sleep.”

“Oh, okay.”

***

**Picture number four: Jeremy's offering a blushing Michael a rose by Michael's locker.**

**Proof Level: Three stars. Could be edging on the territory of four.**

“Okay, but, do you want to hear some of my cheesy as hell lines in this play.”

Michael leans against his locker while holding his books to his chest, smiling slightly. “Sure.”

“Do you see this rose?” Jeremy holds up said rose and Michael nods. He then proceeds to hit it against the locker and it makes a clacking sound. “Fake. Very much so.”

“I figured.”

“I play a somewhat relevant character? He's not the lead role, but he has a good amount of lines and asks a girl out in the end.”

“Oh, exciting.”

Jeremy gives him a flat look before clearing his throat a little and bowing down a little, putting the rose behind his back. Michael is thankful for the vacant hallway so that no one bears witness to his quickly reddening face. Jeremy looks up at him and begins to speak.

“I'm sorry it took me this long to recognize your true beauty,” Jeremy says, a fake suave voice on that nearly makes Michael lose his shit. Jeremy must be able to tell that he's on the verge of laughing because he continues on with a barely contained smile and laughs. “But I have a clearer vision now, and I see that you should be with me.”

Jeremy holds out the rose to Michael with a grin on his face and Michael knows that there's a blush still on his face. He thinks he hears the tapping of footsteps running away, but his mind doesn't really register it.

After a few seconds, Michael breaks down into laughter. Jeremy is quick to follow.

“What… the hell… was that?”

“I don't know! I just know they're my lines!”

“That _voice!”_

“Mr. Reyes told me to be convincing, shut up!”

_“Convincing?!”_ Michael laughs out, holding his stomach. “I'm _swooning_ , Jeremy.”

“Don't worry, babe, I'll catch you,” Jeremy says and Michael looks up right in time to see Jeremy wink horribly.

“What the _fuck_ was that?!”

“Um… a wink?”

“That was not a wink. That was you, _super attractively_ scrunching up half your face.”

Jeremy laughs and half-heartedly shoves Michael's shoulder. “Rude. I'm a Casanova and you know it.”

“I sure do, buddy. I sure do.”

***

**The video:**

**Jeremy and Michael are by Jeremy’s locker after school. The hallway is empty.**

**“So… it's a date then?” Jeremy asks. He's smiling. Michael nods and his face is red.**

**“Cool.” Jeremy hesitates for second before hugging Michael. Michael hugs back. “Thank you.”**

**“No problem.”**

**Jeremy pulls away and rubs the back of his neck. “I'll text you the details later, okay?”**

**Michael nods again and Jeremy grins before walking off. Michael's face is turned away from the camera but he leans against the lockers and you can hear a soft sigh.**

**Proof Level: Five stars. In fact, over five stars. It's a video of a friend asking another friend out. What more proof do you need? This is a whole new level of proof, even with context.**

Michael walks up to Jeremy's locker to see if he needs a ride. It turns out he doesn': there ended up being an emergency drama meeting, but Jeremy grabs Michael's arm before he walks off to get his attention.

“I've been meaning to ask you this, but it hasn't exactly come up,” Jeremy said, nervously looking away. His nervousness confuses Michael and he furrows his eyebrows.

“Are you okay?”

“Huh? Oh! I'm fine! It's nothing life-changing, it's just a little… awkward to ask,” Jeremy reassured, and Michael can tell he isn't lying, so he softly prompts Jeremy to go on.

“My cousin's getting married soon, and he told me that I can bring someone with me if I want,” Jeremy says, glancing away and ducking his head a little. “Do you want to? Go with me, I mean.”

“I… yeah, I'd love to,” Michael responds, smiling wide. “When is it?”

“The end of May.”

“What? That isn't soon at all. That's four months away.”

“Actually, only three.”

Michael gives him a look and Jeremy lifts his hands in defense. “It's better to ask earlier than later so that you don't end up being busy or something.”

“Aw, you must really want to go with me to that wedding.” Michael's teasing, but Jeremy smiles a little and ducks his head even more.

“Well, I mean, yeah. It’d be boring without you.”

Michael doesn't say anything. His face just floods with more color and he smiles wide. _Does this count as a breakthrough? Probably not, we're friends._

His thoughts are cut-off short by Jeremy looking up at him and smiling, voice coming out quieter than before.

“So… it's a date then?” he asks and Michael's smile stretches a little wider as he nods his head. “Cool.”

Michael thinks that's the end of the conversation when Jeremy suddenly hugs him. He hugs back quickly, practically melting into his arms.

“Thank you.”

“No problem,” he says, voice a little breathy and he internally curses his little gay heart.

Jeremy pulls fully away and starts walking towards the theater, rubbing the back of his neck. “I'll text you the details later, okay?”

Michael doesn't trust his voice after the last slip up so he just nods again. Jeremy absolutely beams before leaving. He walks off and Michael, in typical swooning damsel style, falls back against the locker and sighs happily, smiling himself.

(Michael thinks he hears footsteps again. He just figures that they must be Jeremy’s, or something.)

Michael still is watching Jeremy go when he trips over his own feet and grips onto a water fountain to steady himself. Jeremy looks back and meets Michael's eyes and it takes a few seconds before they start laughing, the careful romantic atmosphere broken.

Not in a bad way, though. A good way. In Michael's opinion, a great way.

***

“When were you going to tell us that you and Jeremy are dating?” Jenna pulls back her phone and begins texting someone, fingers going a mile a minute as she talks. “I'm surprised that Jer was the one to ask, though. He carries himself like a scared deer.”

“What a comparison. You know, sometimes, when he's scared, he just stands there and-” Michael's stalling. He should just explain it all, but what is he doing? Stalling.

“Don't change the subject, Mell,” Jenna threatens, pointing a finger in his face. His brain decides to focus on the fact that most of the blue nail polish has chipped off.

“... Yes,” Michael blurts out, dragging out the “s”. Jenna furrows her eyebrows. Michael squints his eyes and nods and Jenna shoves his shoulder.

“Quit stalling! How long have you two been together?”

Michael was fully ready to just explain the context behind each picture. “Well, actually, we haven't-”

He's cut-off by his text notification sound.

(It's a Pac-man sound effect. He earns a look from Jenna for that.)

He slowly pulls out his phone and unlocks it, seeing it's a text from Jeremy.

**Player2: Where are you???**  
**Player2: Are you skipping lunch?? I can bring you food in Study Hall if you want it!!**

Jenna peers over at his phone screen and makes a humming noise. “‘Player 2’?”

Michael realizes that he needs to start thinking before he talks. “It's Jeremy. Jeremy has me as Player 1 in his contacts.”

He caught onto his mistake when he puts away his phone and meets Jenna’s hard stare. He gulps and messes with his fingers.

_Okay, Michael,_ he thinks, preparing himself. _Tell her that you and Jeremy aren't dating. Explain the pictures and the video and explain that Jeremy is straight._

“We haven't been actually dating for t-too long.”

_Michael, that is not what we rehearsed._

“Um… Jeremy was nervous, and so… so was I, so we didn't say anything.”

_You're digging your own grave, dude._

“I'm sorry we didn't tell you guys before. We were… scared, I guess.”

Jenna’s intense look turns into a satisfied smile. “That's all I was asking, Mike.”

“Never call me that again.”

“Noted,” Jenna responds and they begin walking towards lunch together. They reach the cafeteria with about ten minutes left. “Uh… sorry for pressuring you to tell me. I would've backed off if you asked me to.”

Michael fakes a smile and waves his hand. “It's okay. Jeremy and I probably won't a-act different until I break the news to him that… that you know.”

Jenna returns the smile and walks into lunch with a bounce to her step, stopping by a table and speaking to someone. Michael remains in the doorway, clutching his backpack straps and staring at the table he usually sits at. Jeremy has a slightly worried expression on his face, but it melts away whenever he laughs at something.

Michael debates between walking in or leaving and he goes with the latter, pulling his headphones over his ears and walking up to the library, sneaking past the librarian and dumping his stuff in a secluded corner and just sitting down, tilting his face towards the ceiling and just thinking about how he's going to tell Jeremy.

***

Michael hears the bell ringing cut through his music and he pulls off his headphones, shooting Jeremy a quick text of where he is. A few minutes pass before a red-faced Jeremy appears in front of him, dropping down and crossing his legs, sitting like a dork. Michael smiles slightly.

“Okay, so, I know you didn't respond to my text about the food and left me on read, which was rude, by the way.” Jeremy gives him a mock angry look while digging a brown bag out of his book bag and putting it down in front of Michael. “Lucky for you, ever since the near full month you forgot your lunch at the end of Sophomore year, I've started carrying a second lunch. There's a sandwich and a Pepsi if you want it.”

“This is why people think we’re dating,” Michael absent-mindedly says as he’s digging through the bag. What he said doesn’t register until he looks up and sees Jeremy’s shocked, even redder face. Michael shuts his mouth and looks away. “I mean… thanks for the food.”

“People _still_ think we’re dating? I thought that was only Rich’s thing, and he had dropped it by now,” Jeremy says, voice edging on a squeak. Michael unwraps the sandwich, taking a bite.

“Well, I mean, of course, people think that. We’re close and shit. Remember when everyone thought Rich and Jake were dating?”

Jeremy looks away this time. “They _are_ dating, Michael.”

Michael doesn’t respond at that and instead takes another bite and downs it with Pepsi. He waits a few tension filled seconds before he clears his throat to get Jeremy’s attention. Jeremy turns his head back towards him, but he still seems too nervous to fully meet his eyes. Michael sighs out his words.

“I… may have missed lunch because I did something extremely idiotic.”

“Please explain.” Jeremy scoots a little closer and leans against a shelf of books and pulls his knees to his chest. A kid comes into the aisle and takes a book from a shelf, giving the two of them a look before leaving.

“Alright, so, we all know how sneaky Jenna can be, right?”

“... I don’t like where this is going.”

“Well… she took a few photos and a video of the two of us that are quite… suspicious.”

“Gay suspicious?”

“Gay suspicious.”

“Oh, God,” Jeremy groans, dragging his hands down his face. “Did she spread them?”

“Not that I know of. She’s our friend, dude.”

Jeremy pulls his knees up closer and looks at Michael out of the corner of his eye. “... What did you say?”

Michael leans against the shelf and looks away. He looks back up to the ceiling and gulps. He hears Jeremy shuffling closer.

“What did you say, Michael?” Jeremy sounds more firm, but Michael looks at him to see that he looks scared.

“I… I told her that we’re… we’re…”

“You didn’t.”

“I did.”

“ _Fuck._ ”

Jeremy harshly whispers out the last word, curling up into a ball again. He hides his head this time. Michael rushed to explain his actions and not make it sound like he was just following his impulses.

“Look, okay, hear me out; this could work in our favor!”

Jeremy peeks one eye out. From just that, Michael can see how red he is. “How?”

“Reason number one: Jenna wouldn't have believed me if I said no, we aren't together, and she may have gotten mad and… done something. Reason two: this is like, a whole new level of pranking.” Michael takes a breath and runs a hand through his hair. “Reason three: We can drop this whenever we want. Cause a fake scene, ‘break up’, act awkward for a few days, and then everything's the same again. Reason four: We'll get everyone off your back about finding a girlfriend. Your dad will stop asking you and Rich will stop trying to set you up with someone. There's a lot more reasons, too!”

Michael runs out of breath and tries to catch it as Jeremy continues to look at him. Eventually, Jeremy sighs and sits up straighter, head against the shelf and looking up at the ceiling.

“I don't know, dude. It seems like a whole lot to do to patch up a misunderstanding.”

“I won't force you to do anything you don't want to,” Michael starts, waving his hands. “But the benefits are really huge. And it isn't going to hurt anyone in the end.”

Jeremy doesn't say anything. He bites on his bottom lip and doesn't look at Michael. The bell goes off and Michael gathers his stuff and stands up. He looks at Jeremy and offers him a hand.

“Go on. I'm… I'm going to skip.”

“Oh, okay,” Michael responds. He sighs and glances away. “I get it if you're mad at me or something for this, but at least consider it.”

Michael turns to walk away and takes a step before Jeremy lunges forward and grabs his hand. He turns back around quickly and Jeremy doesn't let go of his hand. Jeremy stands up and takes a breath before speaking.

“I'll do it. I'll ‘date’ you.”

Michael's eyes are wide and he blushes this time. It's only a matter of seconds before he's grinning wide and he sits back down. “I'll skip with you then. We have to plan how we're going to do this.”

Jeremy hesitates for second before he sits down next to Michael again and Michael pulls out a notebook, flipping to a random page. They talk quietly as they make a list of guidelines and borderlines.

In Michael's opinion, it's really too much for something that's fake.

(He wishes it wasn't fake.)


	2. Trial Run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Practice makes perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love the pet names babe, baby, and princess/prince its lit  
> alos i write the majority of my stuff on my phone so the spacing is always weird and i haVE TO FIX IT

“Let me get this straight,” Michael starts, standing by the basement door and deciding to close it. He walks over to a very tense Jeremy sitting on a bean bag chair. “You want to practice holding hands?”

“Y-Yes.” Jeremy bites the inside of his cheek and looks at the floor. “We need to make it convincing, and me freaking out each time we hold hands won’t… won’t be convincing.”

Michael hesitates for a second before he pulls his bean bag chair next to Jeremy’s and sits down on it. He puts on some random movie and holds his hand out to Jeremy. He refuses to meet his eyes and it takes Jeremy so long to take his hand that he thinks he decided against it. Jeremy does take his hand though and Michael lets out a shaky sigh of relief. He drops their hands on his thigh and Jeremy yelps.

“We- we can’t put our hands on the ground between us?”

“What couple sits that far away from each other?”

“We can!”

Michael gives him a look and Jeremy tightens his grip a little bit and quietly talks. “Fine. Can we… can we put our hands on _my_ thigh, then?”

Michael squints at him and decides to tease him. “Is there something wrong with my thigh?”

The response is instant and it takes everything in Michael to keep himself from laughing. “No! I didn’t- I’m saying- Um-”

Michael does laugh and Jeremy shuts up, looking at him with wide eyes. “I’m kidding, dude! Jeez, you really are a nervous wreck.”

“I never noticed!” Jeremy near shrieks and Michael laughs harder, pulling his hand away to wrap his arms around his stomach as he laughs. He almost doesn’t hear Jeremy laugh along and ask a question in a flat voice.

“ _Geek Charming?_ Really? Why are we watching this?” Jeremy questions and Michael answers between laughs.

“Hey! Don’t knock _Geek Charming!_ It’s a classic romance tale!”

“What, are you trying to set up a mood or something?” Jeremy continues, smiling and Michael nods with a smile himself.

“Duh. Obviously. How else can I hold my ‘boyfriend’s’ hand?” he asks and Jeremy laughs while blushing.

“Those air quotes were horrible,” he says from behind the hand he lifted to cover his hand while laughing. Michael beams and scoots back in close, holding out his hand. Jeremy easily takes his hand this time, and their hands drop onto Michael’s leg again. Jeremy does jump at the impact, but soon enough they’re able to relax into each other and just make fun of the movie and enjoy each other’s company.

***

“Are you and Jeremy dating?” Christine randomly asks during Biology one day. They’re in a group with two other kids dissecting a frog, and the two other kids have taken over the dissecting at the moment, so they sit at their desks waiting their turn. Michael lifts the goggles and puts them on his forehead, rubbing at the places that they pressed into his face.

“Yeah. For about a month now,” he answers and Christine smiles wide. She pats his back.

“I’m happy for you. I know how badly you two were crushing on each other.”

Michael blushes badly and wonders if he’s really that obvious. Then his brain registers another part of that sentence.

“Was it that obvious?”

“Oh, totally!” Christine pulls off her own goggles now. “You should see the way Jeremy looks at you when you aren’t looking. It’s really cute.”

Michael hums and bites on the end of his pencil. Christine continues the conversation.

“I wonder how I didn’t notice until recently,” she says and Michael appears calm but his brain is running around to look for something to respond with.

“Well, we were trying to keep it a secret. Jeremy was super nervous,” he answers, voice coming out surprisingly steady. He's thankful for his ability to think fast at times like this.

“It makes sense. You guys have been friends for a while, haven’t you?”

“Twelve years.”

“Wow,” Christine exhales. She stands up and smooths her apron, pulling her goggles back on. “This is really serious then.”

Michael does the same, getting irritated when the goggles press his glasses uncomfortably into his skin. “Yeah. Serious as a heart attack.”

Thankfully, the conversation shifts at that point as they walk over to take over the frog dissection. They see the complete mess their partners made and groan loudly, shooting them glares before picking up where they left off. They talk idly as they do so, Michael’s mind racing all the while.

He can’t say that his heart races because of their mess of a frog on the table, although he does kind of wish that’s why. It’d be simpler, a _lot_ weirder, but simpler nonetheless.

***

Michael and Jeremy now hug each other before going to their separate classes.

They walk through the halls either hand in hand or with Michael's arm around Jeremy's waist and Jeremy's arm around his shoulders.

(They had to practice that a lot. Each time Jeremy felt Michael's hand on his hip, he'd jump dramatically and tense up, going very red. He did get used to it after a while. A while meaning they sat through at least three movies in that position until their arms cramped up and Jeremy just didn't care anymore.)

((He still blushed when they walked like that, though.))

They added a heart to each other's contact name and Jeremy suggested they each changed their wallpapers to the other. Michael agreed and took a really goofy picture with the dog filter and sent it to Jeremy. Jeremy laughed when he saw it and took his own picture using the flower crown filter (per Michael's request), sending it to him.

(“I see you screenshotted my picture, Jeremy. Are you getting screenshots of our messages?”

“We had one conversation in Snapchat, and it consisted of you ranting to me about conspiracy theories.”

“He's not Louis’ baby, Jer!”)

Michael melted when he saw the picture. Jeremy looked shy, holding the phone at a weird angle yet still taking a nice picture. His face was slightly pink and he had a small smile.

Of course, he didn't voice just how cute he thought the picture was to Jeremy. All he did was say “nice” and set the picture as his background.

They hadn't outright told anyone else that they were dating, Christine and Jenna being the only others in the group to know. Jenna has trouble keeping her mouth shut though, and Christine sometimes accidentally mentioned it offhand.

Jeremy had told Michael that he was backstage with her and the kid playing Jeremy's love interest when she blurted it out.

“It's probably going to be weird for Jeremy and Michael during that ending scene, seeing as how they're dating.”

“Chris!” Jeremy had exclaimed, head whipping over to look at her and she jumped and apologized. Jeremy told her it was okay, to just try to be a little bit more careful next time and she agreed.

Jenna, on the other hand, didn't care as much about secrets.

“I wonder how many people in our group are queer,” she casually stated one day during lunch. Michael listened to what she was saying but not too obviously, playing a game on his phone. Christine started to say something but she was cut off because it seems as if Jenna wasn't finished with what she was saying.

“I mean, we know that Rich and Jake are gay for each other, and I just found out that it's the same for Michael and Jeremy.”

And then the attention was on the two of them. Noticing how close together they sat together. Chloe reached over and pressed the home button on Michael's phone and Michael didn't try to stop her, watching her as the picture of Jeremy became visible.

“I fucking called it!” Rich damn near shouts, which throws Jeremy into action, nearly lunging across the table as he puts his hand over Rich’s mouth, face flushed. Michael just turns his phone off and sits there, mouth shut and face blank.

Rich was loud enough to cause a few people at the tables nearby to glare for a few moments before turning back around. Jeremy nervously glances around before sitting back down, taking his hand away.

“C-could you maybe _not_ shout?” he asks timidly. Michael makes a split-second decision and decides to pull one of Jeremy's hands off the table and intertwines it with his. He expects Jeremy to become even more keyed up, but the opposite actually happens. Jeremy relaxes a little and shoots a smile towards Michael for a second, Michael returning it.

Of course, though, that action does not go unnoticed.

In fact, it goes a lot more noticed than it should when Michael goes partially blind from the camera flash on his face. He blinks and squints and looks to see Jenna holding up her phone.

“Jenna!” Jeremy shrieks and Michael tightens his grip a little, which causes Jeremy to talk quieter. “Could you please not!”

“You'll be thanking me later, Jer.” She types something on her phone and Michael gets a text from her. Actually, he gets six texts, five different pictures, and one video. “It's for the memories. You can show them off at your wedding.”

Jeremy squeaks and looks over Michael's shoulder at the pictures. His face becomes redder and redder as he looks. Michael quietly wondered why these pictures affected Jeremy so much. Michael points at the two where Jeremy's arm is around his waist and where he's sitting on Jeremy's lap.

“I barely even remember these two,” he states and Jeremy gives him a look.

“Yeah, because you were shitfaced. Then you tried to drive us home! I had to illegally drive your car to get us both home,” Jeremy responds, look stern all the while. “I went so slow that someone drove past us and shouted “hurry up, grandma” as they drove by!”

“You broke the law? For me?” Michael says, a teasing grin on face. “Babe, you're so sweet!”

Jeremy's face had just begun to go back to normal when he blushes again and looks away. Michael can tell just by Rich’s face that he's about to tease them when the bell rings and Michael is thanking everything holy.

Jeremy and Michael begin walking to the library together, hand in hand, and they sit in their secluded corner when they get there.

Jeremy drops Michael's hand and looks at him with a concerned expression.

“So, in my opinion, we need to practice pet names,” he says and Michael smiles.

“Did ‘babe’ get you flustered?”

Cue a blush. “Y-Yes.”

Michael laughs. “Okay. We'll do it later, okay?”

“... Okay.”

At that point, Jeremy leans back against the bookshelf and begins talking about something that happened in drama. He nearly starts singing some song from some musical but he sees the librarian glaring at him from the end of the shelf and he pipes down, continuing to just talk.

Michael laughs and just continues to listen to his ‘boyfriend’ talk with rapt attention.

(Oh God, how he wishes that were true.)

***

Four AM on Wednesday is really a magical time to Michael.

It's a time where his brightest ideas come to him.   
It's a time where his favorite movies seem a little better and his favorite snacks seem a bit tastier.

Four AM on Wednesday is a time where Michael's brain is fully awake and ready to go despite Michael's pleads for it to just go to sleep so he won't be dead tired the next day.

(It never listens.)

Four AM on Wednesday is when he has some of his biggest realizations such as the fact that he has never been interested in girls and the fact that Jeremy was being controlled like an abused puppet by the Squip so that's why he left Michael alone. But this realization is new.

Michael Mell is a big idiot. He is so stupid that it physically pains him to try to calculate his level of stupidity.

Why the _fuck_ would he convince his best friend, whom he has an _enormous_ crush on, to pretend to date him?

That's like asking his heart to be torn from his chest.

What if Jeremy decides it's too much and “breaks up” with him? That would actually hurt Michael even though this whole thing is plastic. Jeremy would be confused as to why Michael is legitimately upset when Michael had offered him this way out. But then Jeremy, being smart and slightly observant, would figure out that Michael had an actual crush on him and then it would be all over.

(Michael knows Jeremy won't drop him for something like this. He just… doesn't want to find out what will happen. He thinks Jeremy slowly distancing himself from Michael will hurt more than just dropping him. It's like saying “I'm only here because I pity you”. That would suck.)

Michael knows that this fake dating will run its course and he's just going to fall deeper and deeper in love with Jeremy, and it's gonna hurt like hell when it's over.

It's going to hurt when they become normal friends again and Jeremy falls in love with another girl, jokingly sings her name adoringly, asks her out and they click as a couple.

Oh God, Michael's going to have to attend Jeremy's wedding as the best man. He's going to witness Jeremy marry some pretty girl while he's angsty next to him because “I'm in love with him too.”

But… what if…

No. There's no way, Michael, stop trying to hype yourself up. Jeremy only gets red like that because he's nervousness personified. You'd blush too if you were in his situation.

Luckily, ever since Michael fell for Jeremy in the seventh grade, he had perfected the act of being nonchalant and calm around him. Jeremy hadn't had a crush on Michael, so he didn't need to perfect said act, so obviously, the sudden change was getting to his nerves.

Another thought hits Michael that has him rolling on his back and staring at the glow stars on the ceiling in contemplation.

_Isn't Jeremy straight?_

He had certainly never told Michael otherwise. (Believe him, Michael would've remembered that.) Plus, he wasn't a Straight Person Extreme, where he acted like everyone that was male was ugly. He easily admitted when he thought another dude looked nice.

Is that a straight person thing? Michael, a non-straight person, thought it over and decided that it could be. He racks his brain for any moments where Jeremy could have shown that he wasn't as straight as he seemed to be.

_Well, he did agree to fake date me,_ Michael thinks, passing over the thought. Then, he's sitting straight up in bed with the thought. _He agreed to fake date me! Why would he, a boy, agree to fake date me, another boy, if he was straight? That's a bit more than a little gay._

Holy shit.

Jeremy could actually not be straight. Michael may actually have a chance at something real.

He lays back down when it feels like a heavyweight settles down on his chest. _I already said not to hype yourself up, Michael. Just be happy getting to hold his hand and call him babe for as long as you can before it's over._

Michael sighs sadly and closes his eyes, trying to go back to sleep.

Subconsciously, Michael begins to develop a small grudge against weddings.

***

“Baby.”

“Sugar.”

“Honey.”

“Babe.”

“Sweetheart.”

“Two percent milk.”

_“What.”_ Jeremy begins laughing hard, covering his mouth with his hand. He tries to say something but then the laughter takes over again and he can't get out the words.

“I am a genius comedian,” Michael proudly states, and Jeremy applauds. The laughing eventually dies down.

“Why the hell did you call me _two percent milk?”_ he asks and Michael shrugs. Jeremy grins and shakes his head. Michael shifted uncomfortably on Jeremy's living room couch, the genuine grin making his heart gooey soft. It's a warm feeling.

“Shall we continue?” he questioned and Jeremy nods. They had been shooting pet names back and forth to try to get used to using them. Michael had been pretty calm with it, and Jeremy was beginning to relax into Michael casually calling out a “babe” to get his attention. Jeremy had started to say “sweetheart” and it took a few times for Michael to actually respond to it.

(Michael was not calm at all. Whatever of him that was still alive was dying on the inside as this continued. He wasn't sure if he wanted to curl up and cry or squeal out of joy and love. Maybe a mixture. That would really freak Jeremy out, though, and he doesn't want to lose the boyf.)

“Love bunny,” Jeremy starts, and Michael nearly combusts. Jeremy says it with a shyness that is driving Michael crazy from how, well, _Jeremy_ it is. It's also insanely cute.

“Knockoff Pepsi.”

“Sweet… sweetcheeks,” Jeremy laughs out, covering his mouth again. Michael grins and speaks.

“Whole wheat bread.”

Jeremy laughs even harder, yet still, pursues sticking to actual cutesy names. “Angel face.”

Michael is actually going to explode. Is that healthy? He thinks not, but he'll be damned if he isn't going to stick to his chosen form of torture.

“Barry B. Benson.”

Jeremy's face is red, but Michael doesn't think it's from blushing. Actually, he's laughing so hard he looks like he's going to cry. The next pet name is coughed out and sounds somewhat garbled, but it still affects Michael a lot.

“Beautiful.”

“Jeremy, you are the layers to my onion,” he says, somewhat strained. Jeremy falls backward, hanging over the armrest of the couch as laughter shakes his body. Luckily, Jeremy is too distracted to notice the breathlessness of Michael's voice, and Michael has had enough experience working on his toes that he's able to get that out coherently.

Beautiful. That's… something. Michael doesn't know how he'd function if that became a name Jeremy regularly called him.

Hot, cute, adorable, gorgeous: those, he could handle. Beautiful was something _completely_ different to him.

Beautiful is how he'd describe Jeremy, in and out. He's completely in love with the guy, of course, he'd call him beautiful, even if Jeremy disagreed.

Beautiful is how Michael would describe most people he knows because he loves most of them. It took a little while for him to start thinking of them as beautiful, but they were most likely going to start to appear that way to him. He meant it platonically for all of them; Jeremy was the special one where he meant in platonically and romantically.

He's studying Jeremy now, still laughing but a little less and sitting up again. True to his thoughts, Jeremy's crying of laughter. This is the only instance in which Michael is not freaking out over Jeremy crying; he has bigger things, way bigger things on his plate.

Jeremy is snorting while he's laughing, wiping off the tears on his face. His face is left an unattractive blotchy red and when he opens his eyes, they're slightly red too as if he's somewhat high. It's certainly a look, and Michael knows that Jeremy would be more self-conscious if he was like this in front of anyone who wasn't Michael, the guy who was present all during Jeremy's horrible emo/scene phase.

(PSA from Michael: Ladies, gents, and nonbinary folk, please do not bleach the front part of your hair, dye it neon blue and green and get it cut into a 2009 emo fringe. You will have a ton of regrets if you do that.)

((PSA number two from your host, Michael Mell: poorly executed raccoon eyeliner and obviously fake piercings do not make you cool, they make you severely edgy and a tryhard. That's all for now.))

Right now, looking at the mess of Jeremy as he slowly comes down from his laughing high, still rubbing at his eyes, Michael would describe him as absolutely beautiful.

“Michael? You okay?” Jeremy asks, face shifting from a grin into a look of confusion. Michael believes that his cover might have been blown and his face might be showing the war going on inside his heart and mind.

“Huh? Yeah, I'm… I'm fine,” he reassures, and he thinks that his hesitancy might have given him away. He uses his angled body away from Jeremy as an advantage and pulls out his phone. “Oh, my mom's calling. I'll be right back.”

As he runs up the stairs to the bathroom, he hears Jeremy call after him. “Okay. I'll set the XBox while you're gone!”

Michael closes the bathroom door behind him maybe a little too forcefully and puts his phone on the counter. He slides down against the door and blinks harshly at the tears pricking his eyes, wondering why he's so worked up over a word.

He tosses the word around nonchalantly, using it for a plethora of things. Of course, the word still holds its heavy meaning in his mind, but the point is that he still uses the word a lot.

Maybe… maybe he's this emotional and keyed up because of one factor that pops into his brain:

Michael had never referred to himself as beautiful before.

It wasn't a low self-esteem thing, it was just his lack of applying it to himself.

(Actually… maybe it was a low self-esteem thing. He'll think about it later.)

_Snap out of it, Michael!_ He thinks harshly, scrubbing his hands over his face until he's sure it's red. _He's playing the part of your boyfriend. Act like this is a play: nothing in it is real, just someone playing the part of someone else. This just shows how good of an actor Jeremy is._

Still, though, beautiful had him all kinds of messed up.

It sucks like hell.

Michael prefers having these self-revelations and breakdowns on Wednesdays at four AM. In those cases, he lies awake alone and safe in his home. Having this moment on Friday at five PM is proving to be dangerous, seeing as how he's at the house of the boy he loves who just called him beautiful for an intricate prank that _Michael_ had set up.

It was dangerous, hurtful, and suspicious.

Michael has no idea how he's going to survive the weekend at this rate. Two hours of simply “practicing” left him a hopeless romantic mess. Over forty-eight hours was sure to destroy him.

But he'll be damned if he isn't going to stick to his chosen form of torture.


	3. Convince Them it's Real

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's just say that this "prank" wasn't Michael's... smartest idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> local amateur author uses over 2,500 words to describe one scene. what's next will shock you!

Three weeks into this “relationship” and Jeremy has become a lot more comfortable using pet names and physical contact.

Michael surprised at how easily a “babe” or a “love bunny” (a personal favorite) comes from Jeremy when referring to Michael. He especially surprised when they had started using them on Friday and Jeremy was this calm with it on Monday.

He had used the nickname “beautiful” only a few times after the first time, and somehow he hadn't seen how red and tense Michael goes each time he hears the name. Jeremy's seems to be a whole new level of oblivious: it's honestly amazing.

In fact, Jeremy used pet names for Michael so often now that each time they were alone together, Jeremy didn't bother switching back to only referring to Michael with his name.

They were once again in the library for study hall, in the empty corner, but actually taking notes and studying. Michael had a highlighter in his mouth as he flipped through his Biology notebook, looking for a certain section.

“Hey, honey, can I see your Algebra notes? I fell asleep last class,” Jeremy pipes up, reaching over towards Michael. Michael digs the notebook out and tosses it over.

“Of course you did. Yeah, sure, here,” he speaks absentmindedly, his voice somewhat muffled due to the highlighter. Then his brain catches up with him and the highlighter clacks onto the floor and Jeremy looks over at him. “Jeremy?”

“Uh… yeah?” he responds, and he looks genuinely confused by Michael's expression. Huh. He didn't even know he did it.

“You do realize you called me ‘honey’, right?”

Jeremy looks even more confused before his cheeks flush pink. “I did? I'm sorry; I didn't even notice it.”

“It's okay, dude,” Michael reassures, waving his hand. “You're getting used to using pet names, so I get it.”

Jeremy slowly nods his head. “Yeah… that's probably it.”

They go back to what they were doing beforehand, Jeremy easily slipping back into a studious mood while Michael just looks at the page but doesn't take in any of the information. It's sort of like when your parents tell you that one story they've told you forty times before while you're just thinking about whatever else.

He's just thinking about how Jeremy said the pet name so… naturally. Like using them wasn't bothering him and he actually didn't mind them all too much.

Michael shakes his head to clear it and continues his studying, focusing on the words until they turn from shapeless blobs into his handwriting.

That's not the last time that happens that day, or the next, either.

“Whatever you say, honey,” Jeremy laughs as they're walking home. Michael laughs in response, ignoring the surprise he feels by the pet name and continuing on with his goofiness.

“Can you pass me the Red, love bunny?” Jeremy says, eyes not leaving the television and hopelessly trying to continue killing zombies with one hand while the other one's outstretched for the soda. It takes Michael's a second to respond, nodding and passing over the drink that his face nearly matches in color.

“You do realize that it's two AM, right, baby?” Jeremy answers the phone with, sounding sleepy. It makes Michael almost hang up right then and there, but he pushes through, awkwardly laughing and apologizing before launching into a rant about the new game they've both had their eyes on. He only stutters and mumbles a few times, which feels like a success.

And on, and on, and on.

Frankly, Michael's having a little bit of a rough time handling it.

 _Michael, look at the facts here. It's like accidentally calling your teacher mom: you don't realize it until later and then you're embarrassed because you didn't mean that,_ he tells himself after each time it happens and his heart feels heavier and heavier.

It's a suckish situation, really, having your crush speak to you as if they're in love with you, but it's really just a part they're playing.

All the babes, and the honeys, and the sweethearts get his head and heart into a war that he really doesn't want to be a part of, but Michael refuses to back out.

It happens again, Jeremy calling him a casual “baby” before turning on his heel and walking to class. Michael's about to give into the war going on with his emotions when he stops himself and just breathes.

It's a nickname. Nicknames don't mean anything this life changing. They're not at the groundbreaking level that Michael is setting them at.

He takes a breath again and smiles. He's okay.

Besides, how much worse (romantic) could this get?

Since most of their “relationship” was behind closed doors, they didn't have to do much.

He'd be fine.

***

He was not fine.

It turned out that things could actually get much, much worse.

“Uh, Michael?” Jeremy says awkwardly. Michael closes the fridge door with his hip and turns towards Jeremy, placing a water bottle in front of him. He leans on the counter on the opposite side, and Jeremy's face is lit up by his phone light.

“What's up?” he asks and Jeremy shuts off his phone, sighing heavily. His face is red, along with his ears, and Michael can tell he's completely embarrassed at the moment. “What were you doing on your phone that made you so embarrassed? Were you watching-”

“No!” Jeremy loudly exclaims before cringing and looking around. “Shit, my dad's asleep.”

“Smart move, buddy,” Michael snickers and Jeremy sighs again.

Jeremy becomes serious again. “You're probably gonna get mad at me.”

“Probably not.”

“... Okay.” Jeremy unlocks his phone and hesitates for a second before handing it over to Michael, who raises an eyebrow, and Jeremy covers his face with his hands, voice coming out muffled. “It's the group chat. Just scroll up until you see me whining about money.”

“... Alright.”

Michael scrolls up until he gets to that point.

**To _MCR IS GONE, MICHAEL!!! LET. IT. GO!!!!!!_**

**me: why am I so broooke**

**Chris:): Because you're a Junior without a job?**

**me: ……..You have a point….**  
**me: I should probably get a job**

**RichyBitchy: i bet ur reslizing how broke u r causz u cant buy m shit**

**me: Um**  
**me: no comment**

“Ah, playing up the relationship thing, I see?” Michael teases. His mind flashes back to the candy bar and slushy Jeremy bought for him earlier, for some reason.

“Just… just keep reading.”

**JakeyD: That's gay, bro**

**me: You are dating a boy???**

**JakeyD: Wasn't an insult**  
**JakeyD: ,bro**

**RichyBitchy: yall are so gai for each otter**  
**RichyBitchy: otter***  
**RichyBitchy: fcuk**  
**RichyBitchy: have u 2, you know,**  
**RichyBitchy: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)**

**me: …...I don't think that's your business**

**RichyBitchy: cmon j don't be a prude**  
**RichyBitchy: ill tell u bout me n joke if u tell me bout u and m**

**JakeyD: Please don't**

**me: Please don't**

**JakeyD: Ay, jinx**

**me: To be honest, Michael and I haven't gone super far or anything…**

“Are you at the… sex part?” Jeremy squeaks out. “Now your face is red.”

“Shush, Jeremiah, I need complete silence to concentrate.”

Jeremy chuckles. “Nerd.”

**Chlo: have you two even kissed?**

**me: UM**  
**me: no comment**

**Chlo: YOOO**

**GossipGirl: Hello, I'm late to the chat, but I can't help but notice that 1, you are in need of money, and 2, you haven't had your first kiss with Michael**  
**GossipGirl: I have an offer.**

**me: …..I don't like where this is going**

**GossipGirl: You see, I have a few people that like to not believe me if I don't give them proof (that irritates the hell out of me), and, well**  
**GossipGirl: They believe I told you two to hold hands for my sake**  
**GossipGirl: If you were to, idk, kiss Michael and take a photo, and then send it to me, there may be an amount of money in it for you**

**me: I'm not going to kiss my boyfriend just to get money!!!**  
**me: I'll kiss him when the time is right!**

**Brooke♡: awwwww**

**GossipGirl: No, there's no rush or anything**  
**GossipGirl: Just… whenever it does occur, you should try and snap a picture**  
**GossipGirl: I do happen to have a full wallet right now, and there's nothing in particular I want from the store**

**Chris:): Jenna, I think that's enough**

**me: You know what? Fine. I'll talk to Michael about it. Maybe you'll get your proof tonight, who knows. The deal's on.**

**GossipGirl: I know I'm pushing this on you, but seriously, don't rush anything. It's not worth messing something up for a few snobby kids.**

**me: Yeah, I know. I'll talk to him, though.**

And that's the last message in the group chat for the moment. Well, the last message pertaining to that topic, seeing as how Christine then goes on to say “What's the deal with everyone hating hot topic?”. That doesn't really… contribute to the conversation of Jeremy kissing him.

Holy shit.

Jeremy kissing him had been a fantasy for a long time, and now it had a _very_ big chance of coming true.

Holy _fuck._

“You're mad, aren't you?” Jeremy near whispers and Michael jumps, fumbling to catch the phone. He does so successfully and turns it off before putting it on the counter. He slowly meets Jeremy's eyes, and Jeremy looks like he wants to sink into the floor.

“I'm… I'm not mad. Surprised, I guess. Shocked?” Michael gulps and takes a breath. “I didn't think you'd be willing to go this far for a prank. I mean, with you being straight and all.”

“Me? Straight?” Jeremy asks and Michael's eyes widen a little. _Holy shit, it's happening._ “Maybe I thought so once, but I'm bisexual, Michael.”

“... Why didn't you tell me?”

“It never came up? I don't know, dude, I'm sorry.” Jeremy smiles softly before he shakes his head and his expression is serious again. “That's not important right now. What's important is this kissing thing. You can… you can ‘break up’ with me now if you're uncomfortable.”

“I'm not backing out, Jer. I'm the one who convinced you to do this,” Michael says, messing with his fingers behind his back. _You just want an excuse to kiss him,_ he thinks, like a jab towards himself. _Damn right I do._

“... Okay.” Jeremy shakily stands up and meets Michael's eyes again. “Do you, um, do you want to kiss me today?”

Michael is going to either cry or yell. Maybe explode. That's probably the best option here, that way he doesn't have to deal with this hurricane of emotions that kissing Jeremy will cause. He can think of other ways he'd like to be swept off his feet, thank you very much.

“S-Sure,” he answers, and oh God, his voice is breathless. He's pretty sure Jeremy can tell. “I'd rather have my first kiss with you than some random jerk.”

“It'll- your _first kiss?!_ ” Jeremy squeaks, going even tenser. It makes Michael smile, and he's grateful for another emotion aside from the continuous mixture of embarrassment and excitement he feels.

(There's a third emotion in there, but it vaguely feels like screaming and Michael's pretty sure that yelling isn't an emotion, exactly.)

“Yes, Jeremy, not all of us have been kissing on our girlfriends.”

“I-I kissed Christine once!”

“Ah, sorry, I meant pillows.”

Jeremy reaches over and swats Michael's arm. It causes Michael to laugh and a shaky smile appears on Jeremy's face.

“We don't have to make this weird, dude. Make it unique to us: silly and very nerdy,” Michael reassures. He pulls out his own phone and leans in against the toaster. He opens his camera and sets up a timer for ten seconds. He makes a motion for Jeremy to come closer to him. “This way we don't have to awkwardly hold the phone and kiss.”

“Wha- right now?!” Jeremy whisper-shouts. Despite the reluctance in his voice, he still walks over to stand in front of Michael. “Shouldn't we p-practice first?”

“This _is_ practice, Jer. Might as well get a good picture out of it.”

Michael is surprisingly calm. On the inside, it's a tsunami of emotions crashing heavily over him, but on the outside, it's like a calm beach with water gently washing over on the sand. It's weird, but he couldn't be more grateful for his well-constructed mask than at that moment.

(What is with him and relating him emotions to weather?)

“Do you want to go over how to… do this?” Michael quietly asks and Jeremy tensely nods.

“I guess I'll lean in and kiss you first. Just put your hands on my… my hips or face or something.” Forget the calmness, Michael is going to explode. He can almost hear a timer ticking. “I'm gonna be real bad at it though, so warning for that.”

“Where- where are you going to put your hands?”

“Probably your shoulders. Or hair.”

“I feel like screaming but I don't want to wake my dad up,” Jeremy just bluntly states and Michael laughs. He tries to say something but laughs again before he gets it out.

“Same here. Come on, let's just… go for it. Imagine I'm someone else if that helps you relax.” And it's happening. It's real this time, Jeremy is right there in all his nervous teenage boy glory, and Michael is about to kiss him. He takes off his glasses and sets them on the counter. “Don't want these digging into my eye sockets.”

“You have such a way with words,” Jeremy jokes and Michael grins. He takes a breath before hitting the capture button and putting his hands on Jeremy's shoulders. Jeremy meets his gaze wide-eyed and he feels tense. Michael looks at the camera and sees a shape that looks like a five, so he leans in and presses his lips to Jeremy's, putting his hands on his shoulders.

Okay, so, on one hand, it really sucks. Jeremy is tense as a board and not kissing back. Michael doesn't even know _how_ to kiss correctly, and Jeremy isn't helping. Hell, Jeremy isn't even touching him. They'd have to retake the picture at this rate.

On the other hand… it's incredible. Michael's kissing _Jeremy_ , his crush for so many years. He's kissing the boy who made him feel loved and warm, the boy he loves with all his heart and then some.

The boy who sometimes calls him during those four AM on Wednesday thinking sessions because “I just really needed to hear your voice.”

The boy who made him feel like him.

The best first kiss Michael could ask for.

It's over too soon in his opinion, pulling away after he hears the shutter sound. Jeremy's just… _standing_ there, a look of utter shock on his face. Michael just smiles softly and walks over to his phone and opens his gallery. He sighs at the picture before showing it to Jeremy. Jeremy is still just there, face super red and zoned out. Michael waves his hand in his face and Jeremy jumps.

“Give a guy some warning!” Jeremy whisper-shouts. Michael's grateful that it's late (Ten PM) because otherwise, Jeremy would be shrieking. “You- you can't just _do that!”_

“Well, well you weren't moving!” Michael's at nearly the same level of flustered now, his calm mask temporarily missing.

“I was _gonna!”_

“Look, dude, okay, we got the first kiss out of the way, so those nerves can be gone now, so it's easier to kiss again.”

“K-kiss again?! Why would we need to-?!”

Michael just shows him the screen with disappointment evident on his face. On the screen is the picture they took of them kissing. Well, of Michael kissing Jeremy.

“You look like you're either disgusted or want to pull away,” Michael points out, ignoring the twisting in his stomach. Maybe he should've backed out when he had a chance.

Jeremy shakes his head and grabs Michael's wrist. Michael wonders if he can feel his rapid pulse beneath his fingertips. “No, no, I'm not disgusted by you! I could never be! I was just- I was just shocked.”

Michael hums and sets up his phone again for the picture. He looks back at Jeremy and Jeremy gives him a stiff nod and he presses the capture button. He takes Jeremy's hands himself that time and puts them on his hips before tangling his hands in Jeremy's hair and leaning in and kissing him again.

It's not exactly perfect, but it's a lot better this time. Jeremy reacts after a second of Michael kissing him, grip tightening on his hips and pulling him closer, kissing back eagerly. Michael feels like he's going to both melt and explode, and for some reason, the shift makes Michael smile against Jeremy's lips.

The shutter clicks again and they slowly pull apart. Michael's still smiling and he is unable to read Jeremy's face. He thinks that the feeling of “woah” is mutual, though.

“I'll go… I'll go check the picture,” Michael whispers and Jeremy jerkily nods. Michael pulls away from Jeremy, regretting that decision instantly, and picks up the phone. He goes into his gallery, and the picture makes a warm feeling spread through his chest when he sees it.

He's smiling against Jeremy's lips in it, hands twined in his hair. Jeremy's arms are around his waist, kissing back happily, and it looks genuine. Both their faces are red, and Jeremy's stance is a little bit awkward, so it looks even more genuine.

They look like an actual couple.

The thought gets Michael choked up, but he clears his throat and walks over to Jeremy with the phone in hand. Jeremy looks at the picture and his face becomes even redder somehow. He gives Michael a questioning look and Michael nods, opening up the group chat while Jeremy retrieves his own phone from the counter.

**To _MCR IS GONE, MICHAEL!!! LET. IT. GO!!!!!!_**

**Chris:): But isn't the edgy aesthetic of Hot Topic appealing to some people?**  
**Chris:): They have a lot of cute clothes!**

**Chlo: That they do**

**GossipGirl: Did you know that Madeline shops there?**

**Chlo: Fuck hot topic**

**YellowMellow has sent an image.**

**GossipGirl: You work fast, Jer. Respect.**

**JeremyHeere: There's your photo, Jenna. Do whatever you want with it**  
**JeremyHeere: Actual, correction: Please don't do anything weird with it**

“What ‘weird’ thing would Jenna do with a picture of us kissing?”

“I don't know? Photoshop something weird into it?”

Michael chuckles and walks over to the countertop beside Jeremy, hopping onto it and continuing to observe the chat.

**RichyBitchy: DAMN BOI GET SUM**

**Chris:): Cuties <3!**

**Chlo: lol that's gay**  
**Chlo: Relatable**  
**Chlo: also nice picture**

**Brooke♡: That's sweet!**  
**Brooke♡: I can't believe Jenna talked you into having your first kiss with Michael**

**GossipGirl: I am one convincing bitch, Brooke.**

**Chris:): :0!! Don't call yourself a b*tch!**

**GossipGirl: Actually, I was complimenting myself. There's very little that offends me.**

**JakeyD: Two things:**  
**JakeyD: 1. Nice picture, guys**  
**JakeyD: 2. Why everyone in the chat now it's literally never this active**

**RichyBitchy: i think it's teh growing uop of the bois**

**Chlo: uop**

**Brooke♡: uop**

**GossipGirl: uop**

**RichyBitchy: would yall shut the fuck uop**

Michael laughs and checks the time on his phone. It's half past ten PM. He turns off his phone and slides it into his pocket, turning towards Jeremy and smiling. Jeremy looks up at him, still sufficiently nervous.

“Now that the awkward tension is still cranked up a few notches, want to go play some games to diffuse it?” he asks, proud of himself for his steady voice.

Jeremy nods and stands up, a small smile gracing his face. He follows Michael into the living room.

“I bought this game with me, it's called Life is Strange, I'm sure you've heard of it,” Michael explains while digging through his bag, trying to keep up a normal conversation. “It's not exactly a two-player game, but we can trade-off playing and yell at each other when we make dumb decisions.”

Later, when it's Michael's turn to play, Jeremy taps his arm. Michael looks away from the screen to look at Jeremy.

“Uh… thank you,” Jeremy mumbled and Michael smiled.

“For kissing you?”

“Y-Yeah. And not acting weirdly.”

“It's no problem, dude,” Michael waves off casually, returning to the game all while thoughts run through his head like a tornado or an angry hamster on a wheel. Maybe both.

Sharp plastic can cut a deep wound, apparently.

Who knew.

***

Michael's leaning against Jeremy's locker after school the next Tuesday and listening to music with his eyes closed.

The halls are empty and the only people left in the school are teachers and drama kids, so there's little to no possibility of a bully coming at him in his time of vulnerability.

(A huge perk of being friends with some of the most popular kids was that most assholes left Michael alone. Jake could and would beat the shit out of anyone who messed with his friends, and everyone knew how Christine could be the week before a play. She was an absolute nightmare, incredibly terrifying, and no one wanted to bully him when they knew that he could tell Christine and have her take care of it.)

((A not so huge perk is that Michael tends to be… scared to tell his friends when bullies do bother him. And that little fact is catching on, so they've switched from physical to verbal, and it hurts a little more. It's still less, though, so that's cool.))

He relaxes into the sharp pressing of the locker against his back and the wordless music pumping into his ears, feeling at peace until Jeremy and Christine got out of practice and he drove them home.

He doesn't check the time, not knowing what time it is or how long until they're finished practice. It's not like it's a pressing matter.

For now, it's just music and his own thoughts.

At least… that's what he thought up until he feels lips press against his own.

They leave as quickly as they came and his eyes shoot open wide, seeing an embarrassed Jeremy standing in front of him. He pauses his music and pulls his headphones off.

He looks around to clarify that they're alone before he whispers to Jeremy. “What was- what was that?”

“Practice, you know? What if some-someone asks us to kiss and we can't ‘cause we chicken out?” Jeremy explains, only stuttering a little, and Michael just nods slowly.

“... True.” He looks back down the hall before looking at Jeremy again. “Where's Christine?”

“She'll be here soon.” There’s a click of a door down the hallway. “That's probably her. Quick, kiss me.”

“What? Why?” Michael never thought he'd question kissing Jeremy this much, especially when Jeremy _himself_ told him to.

“What couple doesn't kiss each other when they see each other?”

“... Right.”

 _Fuck it,_ Michael thinks, pulling his arms around Jeremy's waist and pulling him in to kiss him. Jeremy reacts immediately, tilting his head and kissing back, arms around his neck.

 _Michael, you're now lowering yourself into your own grave. It's gotten worse,_ he says to himself and he ignores it. If he gets to kiss Jeremy, then he'll be okay. He can let himself happy knowing that no one else will be able to kiss Jeremy like this for now.

_For now._

Neither of them pulls back until Christine laughs and clears her throat. Michael was going for the “spring apart as if they were surprised” action plan, but he doesn't get too far when Jeremy still has his arms around him, holding him close. He looks at Jeremy with wide eyes, but Jeremy is looking at Christine.

“You guys can do that later, c'mon, let's go,” she greets, a smile on her face.” She starts walking towards the doors and Michael goes to follow her. Jeremy grabs his hand and intertwined their fingers as they walked. It makes Michael's heart gooey, and now that he has before, he really wants to continue kissing Jeremy. “Thanks for the ride, Michael.”

“No prob, Chris,” Michael responds, smiling. She smiles back and holds the door open for them to leave.

“Shotgun!” Jeremy calls and Christine groans. Michael just laughs as he unlocks the car, getting in.

“You always ride shotgun! I bet you have a special privilege because you're the driver's boyfriend!”

Jeremy grins in response as he buckles his seatbelt. Christine jokingly flicks the back of his head.

They arrive at Jeremy's house first. Michael, going off his instincts, hops out the car and opens Jeremy's door for him. Jeremy gets out and kisses Michael short and sweet before walking towards his door and waving. When Michael turns back to his car, he laughs to see Christine in the front seat. He gets back in and begins driving her way.

“You guys are really cute together,” she comments and Michael smiles shyly.

“Thanks, Chris.”

“I can see this lasting for a long time,” she comments and Michael smiles a little wider. He's glad to have an excuse to not meet her eyes. He doesn't think he'd be able to if he could.

They get to her house and she hops out the car and waves at Michael as he drives away. He starts towards his own house, and he's actually almost there when he pulls over to the side, stops his car and puts his forehead on the steering wheel.

He takes deep breaths to try to calm himself down, and it actually works a bit better than he expected it to.

Everything is too much. It's not enough.

It's confusing.

Michael knows that he really should've kept his mouth shut, to begin with, but he can't find himself regretting it all that much.

He's not backing out now. It's too soon, but also too late?

Like he said: confusing.

He's just going to keep it up, and not leave until he inevitably ends up having his heartbroken.

But until that comes, he'll take what he can get and run with it.

Better to have love then lost than never to have loved at all.

… Right?


	4. Hit 'em Where it Hurts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dating is a scary concept. The person you date is either going to be who you marry or who you end up breaking up with, and that's pretty scary to think about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had my heart broken once 0/10 would not recommend to anyone

Alright, so, in the span of one month, one week, and three days (but who was counting) of being Jeremy's “boyfriend”, Michael has learned a few things about being in a relationship with Jeremiah Heere.

Thing #1:

Jeremy is one touchy bastard.

Once he gets over his embarrassment of touching and being touched by Michael, he's good to go.

Michael can't think of a single time in the past few weeks where Jeremy wasn't touching him in some way shape or form when they're together. Usually, it's an arm around his waist, hand resting on his hip and Michael's side flush against his body, but whenever they were walking it was hand in hand. Michael couldn't find it in himself to mind it all too much, seeing as how it always made his heart mushy and pulled a smile onto his face. He felt loved, pretty much.

Thing #2:

Jeremy is bound to become more and more confident during the course of your relationship with him.

What was once a nervous fidgeting boy was a still nervous fidgeting boy, but this one kissed and held Michael.

Oh, yeah. The kissing thing.

Thing #3:

Jeremy loves kissing.

There is not a _single day_ Michael goes without being kissed now that they had gotten their first out of the way.

Jeremy kisses him before class, kisses him after class, during study hall, when they're in the car, at either one's house, before they said goodbye, _everywhere._

Michael cannot get enough of it.

Michael's slowly getting better at kissing and they're becoming more comfortable with kissing each other.

Is that a good thing, though? On one hand, that made their relationship all the more convincing, but on the other hand, Michael's going to miss kissing Jeremy when they “break up”.

(He loves the way Jeremy pulls away from a kiss slowly like he really doesn't want to stop kissing Michael.)

Moving on from that.

Thing #4:

Jeremy's a crazy good actor.

(Acting like his boyfriend, at least. Jeremy still sucked at acting like he was okay or fine mentally. Jeremy's been through a whole lot of shit, so Michael wouldn't expect that faking a stable mental state would be at the top of his list.)

Michael has no idea what unlocked this hidden talent of his, but he really has Michael believing things that couldn't possibly be true.

There's the time that Jake is having a small party (the whole group mixed in with a few other people) and Michael and Jeremy are in the kitchen. Michael's sitting up on the counter, kicking his feet and Jeremy's standing beside him holding a bottle of soda.

A girl walks over and begins talking to the two of them. Apparently, Jeremy notices something that Michael doesn't, because Jeremy's hand lifts from his pocket and is put on Michael's thigh, Michael flushing.

(It's a weird position, actually, Jeremy having to angle his body and bend his arm strangely to put his hand on his thigh. Michael wasn't thinking about the absurdity of it at the time, though.)

The person's facial expression shifts into a disappointed look and she cut the conversation off as soon as she can, walking away and mixing into a different small group of people. Michael looks at Jeremy, and for a second, just a second, he thinks he looks jealous.

_There's no way._

“Earth to Jeremy,” he says, waving his hand in his face. Jeremy blinks and looks at him with wide eyes. “What happened?”

Jeremy mumbles something under his breath before talking louder. “She was hitting on you.”

“What? Why?”

“The nerd aesthetic? I don't even know who she is.” Michael sees Jeremy shoot a narrow eye glance her way and maybe the possibility of him being jealous isn't so far off. “I put my hand on your thigh to show that we're together.”

“Your hand is actually still there,” Michael points out and Jeremy snatches it back like he had gotten burned, face becoming red.

“Ah, s-sorry,” he mumbled.

A few minutes later, they're talking normally when Jeremy suddenly grabs his chin and kisses him. Michael's surprised, but he melts into the kiss before Jeremy pulls away.

“What was that for?” Michael often asked this after they kissed, and Jeremy always had a reason. He hoped that one day the reason would just be “‘Cause I wanted to.”

“She was looking this way, specifically at you.”

“Damn, Jer, you play one hell of a convincing protective boyfriend,” Michael let's slip out before he thinks to shut his mouth. Jeremy's face goes blank for a hot second before he's smiling and laughs. The laugh is strained, Michael can tell.

“I try my best, babe.”

And then there are the times that Jeremy convinces Michael that he's in love with him as well.

The times Michael catches Jeremy staring at him adoringly, or the times that he runs his thumb over his knuckles. The times he texts him to tell him to have a good night's sleep and the times he randomly shows up on his doorstep with a bag slung over his shoulder and says, “Let's have a sleepover”, with a dopey grin on his face.

All of these little things combine together to fool Michael into thinking that Jeremy loves him in the way that he loves Jeremy.

(Of course they platonically love each other: they're best friends. But loving someone and being _in_ love with someone are two totally different things.)

But, like he said, Michael is a fool being fooled. Jeremy's just… better of an actor than he expected.

Michael's rambling. He'll move onto the last thing.

Thing #5:

Jeremiah Heere makes… one hell of a boyfriend.

He'll get the door for you while telling you a joke that only you'll understand. Pet names from him will roll off his tongue like water off duct tape, but not always in a sweet sentence.

“Sweetheart, your mom told me to tell you that if you leave the toilet seat up one more time that she's clobbering you,” is a favorite of Michael's.

Jeremy won't make fun of you for your imperfections. He won't tease you about your habits or your mental illnesses. He won't cringe at your nails you bit down into nubs, no, instead he'll bandage the ones that bleed and kiss your hands. He won't say that you shouldn't have depression anymore since he's in your life, no, he'll understand you. He'll say something like:

“I've been there, I mean, I'm still there. I'm not going to just tell you to be happy, no, it's not as simple as that. I am not going to leave you for something like this. Not again. Never again.”

He's… he's a special boy. One that you want to hold on to.

… Do you remember the temporary tattoos that everyone had in elementary school?

Everyone had different ones. Sure, there were some matching ones, but they came out different on different skin, and they all looked great.

Everyone would be jealous of you or ask you about it, or just go wide eyed in childlike amazement.

But… there always came the time that natural forces came to chipping off the tattoo. Hence the word “temporary”.

Either you were the type of kid to try to keep it on or chip it off with your nails. Michael, in this situation, was the type to keep it on.

The point of this long winded simile is that Jeremy is like one of those tattoos: amazing, beautiful, and even though you're not completely sure how it works, you don't care about that.

… and temporary.

For Michael at least.

Jeremy's going to make someone happy some day. He's going to make someone more willing to wake up the next day and make someone less willing to go to sleep because they never want a day with him to end.

He's going to joke around with someone and they'll be so helplessly in love with each other that some people just wonder how two people can love each other so much.

Michael's not going to be that person. He knows that everything they have now is built on a foundation of lies. It's a stupid fucking prank that isn't really a prank.

Michael lied when he said that it wasn't going to hurt in the end. He lied and he knew it at the time as well as now. He just… he just wanted to know what it was like to maybe have Jeremy jokingly flirt with him, to possibly have Jeremy kiss him like he'll kiss his spouse, to perhaps have Jeremy as in love with him as Michael is in love with-

… Anyway.

Those are five things that Michael observed in a month and a week of having Jeremiah Heere as a boyfriend.

It's not much, but it's enough. He wants to learn more; Michael has always had a bit of a passion for learning.

Let's see how long it takes for that tattoo to scratch off of Michael's scarred skin.

***

One month, three weeks, and one day into the relationship now.

It's been spread around the school that they're together, but no one really cares.

This is real life, not a sitcom. No one gives a shit, and Michael is actually pretty glad that no shits are given because he really doesn't think he'd be able to handle all the staring.

And so, their “relationship” continued.

They were like any other couple, but maybe more, in a way. They were best friends first, mostly because everything they had was fake.

That part was really starting to dig at Michael.

Michael had this weird internal struggle about all of it that made him not want to give up. Part of it was because it was the type of relationship he wanted with Jeremy, but the other part reminded him that this wasn't the real thing. It was tearing him apart.

Four AM on Wednesdays turned into four AM on Mondays, then to Tuesdays and Thursdays. He was running on so little sleep that falling asleep during lunch or Study Hall was pretty inevitable.

His mom noticed his worsening physical and mental state and asked him about it, but Michael just brushed it off with “I've been tired lately” and she barely accepted that. Michael thinks the only reason she believed him is because the only thing that had really changed was the way he carried himself. His lighthearted personality and his jokes stayed, along with his grades and how often he hung out with his friends.

It was April now, and it rained all the time. Michael liked to just sit at his desk with his head down and listen to the rain when everything became too much.

… which was all the time at this point.

He considered ending it. He considered just going to Jeremy and telling him that they should “break up”, but he never did.

He was destroying himself from the inside out and he was completely aware of that.

Looking back on it, Michael believes that his complete fear about what will become of them and how much he'll regret it is what held him back. They were practically friends with benefits of a non-sexual kind, and he doesn't know if he'd be able to handle going back to just friends. That would break him even more.

Every second spent playing Jeremy's boyfriend wore him down more and more. Every second participating in this hell of a play made him exhausted and left his heart aching, even though he's pretty sure he's the only one calling out for an encore.

When was the musical number “I'm fucking hurting” going to start? It's shortly followed by “I hide it with humor”.

Which is what he does. Michael plays the easy go lucky guy with the tightly wound up boyfriend.

He wasn't sure how much longer he could do this.

When he's hopelessly trying to fall asleep on a Saturday, he promises himself this:

If Jeremy doesn't break up with me in the next week, I'll break up with him.

No take backs on this one.

***

The next Saturday, the whole group is hanging out at Jake's place.

After the Halloween party incident, he had gone to live with his uncle, who had a shady as hell job. Jake ignored that factor and just said things like “It's cool ‘cause I basically have a place of my own” even though everyone could see the pain on his face.

Anyway.

Pizza has been ordered and they're playing Uno. It's going about as well as Uno could go with three aggressive players, three passive players, one player who tries to lighten the mood and one player who doesn't care what happens.

All in all, it's a mess. Uno is always a mess.

Eventually, the game ends with Christine winning (“Haha, suck it, Rich!”) and they transition into watching a movie while waiting for the pizza to come.

After about ten minutes of the movie, Michael gets up and walks into Jake's kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water out of the fridge. He turns around and jumps when he notices Jeremy there too. He presses a hand to his heart and lets out a breathy laugh.

“Jer, you scared me,” he says and puts the bottle down. Jeremy looks concerned, though, and steps closer.

“You… haven't been yourself lately,” he says quietly and Michael looks away. “You can tell me what's up, dude.”

Michael doesn't say anything. He thinks back to his promise to himself, and he refuses to break it.

He had been breaking down little by little over the course of that week. Little pieces of him chipping off and crumbling. It hurt a lot.

He mentally prepared himself for what he was about to say when Jeremy puts his hands on his shoulders. His head jerks towards him and his eyes open. Michael hadn't even realized he had closed them.

“Please tell me,” Jeremy says, even softer than before and Michael lets out a shaky breath.

“I think… we should break up.”

Jeremy's obviously surprised. He had the mindset that nothing was wrong because Michael had mastered hiding everything.

“What?” Jeremy asks after a few seconds. He had stepped back by then and Michael crosses his arms over his chest, looking at the ground.

“This prank is stupid,” he says quietly. He had almost forgotten that they were at Jake's place. “We aren't gaining anything from it, so we might as well end it now.”

“... Are you sure this is what you want?”

“Positive.” Michael sniffs. “It's… it's the best option for both of us.”

Jeremy goes quiet. Michael chanced looking at him and Jeremy has a sleeve of his cardigan pulled over his hand and he's wiping his eye. Michael's own mouth nearly drops open, but he clenches his jaw to keep it shut.

“Okay… if that's what you want,” Jeremy replies, looking away. He huffs out a laugh and forces a smile on his face. “God, I don't know why I'm so emotional.”

“Me- me neither,” Michael agrees, pulling his arms tighter around himself. He knows he's tearing up, he knows that there are a few tears going down his face, he knows that it's not the place to do this at. He knows all of this, but he can't find it in himself to care.

It hurt so much more than he expected, and he's the one who said it first. It's like someone tore his heart from his chest and stomped on it. Repeatedly. With stilettos.

The air around them is thick with tension. Michael thought that Jeremy would have just laughed it off and agreed with his decision. He didn't know that he would reduce the two of them to tears. Looking at Jeremy again, he sees him wiping his eyes with tightly clenched fists and a tense posture.

Michael should've remembered how emotional this kid gets. Not that it would've changed anything, but at least he would've been mentally prepared to see this.

“I guess breakups hurt no matter the situation,” Jeremy laughs out, maybe trying to lighten the situation. Michael forces out a pity laugh.

“Yeah, I guess. And this was my first.”

“Right.”

“Hey, nerds!” Rich calls from the living room and Michael quietly clears his throat so that it maybe sounds normal.

“Yeah?”

“Pizza's here! Jake's putting it in the dining room, so you two are on drink duty!”

“Roger that,” Jeremy responds. He looks back and Michael and sighs heavily. The red tint of his eyes makes Michael's torn heart clench.

“... Can I at least have a hug?” Jeremy asks tentatively and Michael nods. Jeremy walks forward and hugs him tight. Michael hugs back and fists his hands in Jeremy's sweater.

Jeremy pulls back and smiles sadly at Michael. Michael moves to the side and opens the fridge, pulling out a liter of soda and a few bottles of water. “Can you get the cups?”

Jeremy grabs a sleeve of plastic cups off the counter. “Should we act awkward around each other when we go out there?”

Michael nods and hums. “If the table's big enough, let's not sit next to each other.”

Jeremy nods in response and they walk out to the dining room. They put down the drinks and cups on the table. They see two empty seats on either side of Christine and they sit in those seats. Christine turns towards Jeremy.

“I can trade seats with you,” she offers sweetly and Jeremy shakes his head. Christine turns to look at Michael with a concerned look and Michael just swallows and stares at the stained table cloth.

“... Alright,” she says after a few moments and Michael reaches over and grabs a slice of pizza. He puts it on his plate and just looks at it. He can't find it in himself to be hungry.

His stomach feels like it's twisting and his heart and brain are at battle. His emotions and logic are pulling at either side of him, trying to pull himself until the loose stitches that barely keep him together tear.

For lack of a better word, it fucking _sucks._

He just wants to go home and curl up in bed. He wants to tell Jeremy all of the truth, including the fact that he's actually completely enamored with him, but he also doesn't.

He just mostly wants to stop the painful pressure in his throat and stop from chewing at his nails until they bleed. He also wants to stop picturing Jeremy getting over it in the span of a day and moving on because that's what _really hurts_ and-

“Michael?” Christine asks softly. He looks up and tunes back into what's around him, noticing that it's only the two of them at the table.

“Uh… where's everyone else?”

“The living room again,” she answers, concern clear on her face. “You hadn't even touched your food. Rich asked if you wanted all of us to stay in here and you said ‘no, I'll be out there in a sec’.”

“Oh. Sorry.” He pushed out from the table and stood up. “I was really zoned out.”

“Michael, what happened? You were fine earlier, and then you and Jeremy go into the kitchen and-” she seems to figure it out then and she covers her mouth with her hands, eyes going wide. “You guys didn't.”

“It… it wasn't working out, Chris. It was a mutual decision,” Michael forces out, taking in a breath. “I'll be okay… just give me a little time.”

“I don't mean to pry, but what happened? I was sure you were in love with each other,” she comments, voice lowered. Michael feels like throwing up.

“I just… I don't know… I, um… fuck,” he chokes out, progressively getting more and more upset as he attempted to speak.

 _I told you this would happen, and who did you listen to? Not me,_ he thinks to himself and he tears up even more.

“Oh, Michael,” Christine says sadly and hugs him. He hugs back and tries to fight away his tears.

“It's fine, I'm fine,” he says, mostly trying to convince himself to believe those lies. “I don't really wanna talk about it.”

Christine pulls back and examines his face. “... Okay.”

“Let's go back out there, okay? And uh… don't mention this to the others, please. I'm pretty sure they'll figure it out anyway.”

Christine nods and gives Michael one last sad look before she turns on her heel and walks into the living room. Michael stays behind and just breathes, trying to calm down a little.

It doesn't work too well because everything still hurts like hell.

He tries to force it down, and that works a bit. He plasters a fake smile on his face and walks into the living room with an aura of fake confidence that he's sure anyone can see through.

Act two, scene five: The heartbreak scene. The song in this one is titled “What did I think was going to happen?”.

A fan favorite by far.

***

The next day it pours. Rain patters against the roof and the sky is endlessly gray. The road is empty of cars, and Michael is laying on the concrete floor of his basement.

He can't really hear the rain, but he can hear a little bit of it.

His mom had left for work earlier, and he had gone down to the basement with the intention of getting high, but he just… didn't. He got distracted by something and next thing he knows, his body is chilled and he's on the floor.

He wants to get up and go do _something,_ maybe actually go eat breakfast (or lunch. What time was it, anyway?).

He didn't do that. He thought about it, but Michael just stayed laying on the floor and looking at the ceiling.

Michael still hurts. His chest still feels tight and he feels that if any little thing were to set him off, he'd start crying. It could be a very minimal thing, so he tried not to do anything that will get him frustrated and upset.

Such as answering calls and texts.

He pulls out his phone and checks his notifications, deciding to read the messages anyway.

**Six missed calls from _Player2_**

**Fifteen new messages from _Player2_**

**Three new messages from _Chriissss_**

**Three new messages from _poor_**

**Player2: How are you?**  
**Player2: I didn't hear from you after you went home yesterday.**  
**Player2: Michael?**  
**Player2: Michael, it's been two hours, I'm worried now.**  
**Player2: You’rw not even reading these; You're never off your phone this long.**  
**Player2: Answer my calls!!**  
**Player2: If you don't answer this call, I'm coming over.**  
**Player2: Be there in a few, hope you're decent!**  
**Player2: I'm on your porch let me in**  
**Player2: I'm literally soaked**  
**Player2: and cold**  
**Player2: MICHAEL J MELL OPEN THIS DOOR**  
**Player2: I get it if you're upset with me and domt want to talk just let me in please I need to know that you're okay**  
**Player2: and I can explain anything that may have made you this upset and stuff like I'll explain why I was so upset yesterday**  
**Player2: Please let me in I can't lose you again**

 **Chriissss: How are you feeling, Michael?**  
**Chriissss: Jeez, I sound like a doctor :P!**  
**Chriissss: Anywho, message back!!**

 **poor: jenna said u n j broke up**  
**poor: r u ok dude  
poor: do u want me to come over?**

Michael stood up from the floor after a few seconds and pocketed his phone. He walked upstairs and opened the door to a shivering Jeremy who was on his phone. He looked up and smiled. A forced smile.

“Only took you ten minutes,” he jokes and Michael plays along.

“My ceiling was very interesting, Jer. My phone wasn't important.”

He walks inside and Jeremy follows him, closing the door behind him.

“Your mom's at work?” he asks and Michael nods. Jeremy hums and continues. “Do you have anything I can change into?”

“The bottom drawer on my dresser is your clothes. You seriously forgot that?”

“Oh. Yeah,” Jeremy says, smiling awkwardly before going down to the basement. Michael walks into the kitchen, hopping onto the counter and kicking his feet while he waits for Jeremy.

Jeremy walks back up after about ten minutes wearing a sweater and jeans. Michael just looks at him, and Jeremy laughs again.

“What's with you and sitting on counters?”

“I like to be tall.”

Jeremy laughs again, pulling on the sleeves of his sweater. “You're already tall.”

“Yeah.”

And silence.

Well, silence between the two of them. The rain still splatters against the house and the thunder still crackles outside. At least there's that noise to focus on.

“I… I told you that… that I would explain myself,” Jeremy breaks the silence with. Michael looks back at him with wide eyes.

“Hm?”

“Why I got so upset.” Jeremy takes in a shuddering breath but refuses to look away. “Why the… the end of the…. “relationship” caused me to cry and stuff.”

“I get why you cried, I mean, I did too,” Michael says, trying to reassure Jeremy. Jeremy shakes his head, breaking eye contact again to look at the floor.

“No, it's not just because breakups suck in general like I said. It's- it's for a different reason.”

Michael slid off the counter and walked up to Jeremy. Jeremy turned his head to look at him again and he took another shaky breath. He continued to pull on the end of his sweater, glancing towards the ground again. There were a few moments of silence before Michael spoke up.

“Well, what is it?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just wanna say that i love all of y'all who take the time out of your day to read the silly things i write. kindof a weirdly sappy ending to this chapter, but i mean it. have a nice day from here <3<3<3!!!!
> 
> (also i apologize for all the typos in each chapter!!)


	5. Looking at this From a New Angle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are always two sides to a story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it is past 4 AM but time isn't real so that is ok my dudes  
> i'll proof read this more later ughrd

Jeremy has a little secret.

Okay, so, it's a… not so little secret. It's a big secret, actually, an enormous secret.

A secret that leaves him wide awake when he should be sleeping, just staring at the ceiling and thinking about it. A secret that makes his heart pound in his chest, and a secret that leaves him with a goofy grin on his face at the worst times.

This secret is actually so huge that it has changed the way he acts around someone. It makes him softer around them, sweeter around them. Yeah, he still teases them and jokes around with them, but he blushes more and sweats more around them now.

(Luckily, since Jeremy is a nervous wreck all around, he can blame that behavior on that.)

He might as well share the secret now. Most people probably already know what he's talking about.

Jeremy's in love. He's in deep, deep love that he doesn't think he'll be able to escape. He doesn't think he even wants to try to escape it.

Jeremy's had his experiences with love before. He had thought he might've been in love with Christine at one point, but it turns out he was in love with the idea of her.

(Don't get him wrong, he loves Christine! Just in a friendly type of way.)

He falls in and out of love as easily as someone slips on ice. It's catastrophic, really, and leaves his heart aching. But this love… the love he felt right now he's sure is the real thing.

Every time he sees them, he digs his love a little deeper. Every time he talks to them, he sure of it even more. Every time he kissed them, he knew it was real.

Yes, he has kissed the person he loves before. It just… it…

… He might as well come clean and stop using vague pronouns. There's no way he'll see this anyway.

Jeremy's in love with Michael.

Michael as in Michael Mell, as in his best friend for a whole of twelve years, as in “ruh-roh, Jeremy, you're in love with a dude you've eaten glue with before”.

Now, Michael doesn't know this. If things go the way Jeremy wants them to, Michael will never know this. Michael knowing this would _not_ be a good thing for Michael to know.

Jeremy can picture it now: Michael, finding out through some source that the boy he always spends his time with actually wants to date him instead of faking it. Michael finding out that Jeremy, the guy he's pretending to date for a prank and multiple benefits, is actually into him.

Needless to say, that isn't good.

Jeremy knows that Michael would never drop him just like that. He knows that Michael won't cut their ties together with scissors as if they mean nothing to one another.

What he doesn't know is how Michael will react. He may not be disgusted by Jeremy because he's gay himself, but he may be disgusted _because_ it's Jeremy. Jeremy who's a nobody loser who just so happens to have a few cool friends, Jeremy Heere who ditched him, Jeremiah Heere who-

_Breathe, Jeremy. That's your anxiety talking. Don't listen to it. Don't. Michael could never be disgusted by you._

The point is that Jeremy promised himself to never tell Michael how he feels. He doesn’t want Michael to believe, to _know_ that one of the only reasons he agreed to this “relationship” is because he genuinely wants to date him.

He knows that he should really break it off before it goes too far, but… he really doesn’t want to. They’re okay now, and hey, Michael doesn’t mind kissing him every day, so that’s a plus.

God, this is pathetic.

The _actual point_ is that Jeremy is in love with Michael, and Michael can never know that factor otherwise everything they have will be completely ruined.

***

The first time Jeremy feels the beginnings of some not-so-straight feelings towards Michael is in eighth grade.

They just so happened to be lucky enough to get put in the same uncomfortable sex ed class together.

“I can’t believe the condom broke when he put it on the banana,” Michael jokes during lunch. Jeremy laughs along, hiding his smile with his sandwich. They sit alone at a table together. They’re lucky enough to get a table in the first place, unlucky in the fact that literally no one wants to sit with them, though. Lucky again when they realize they’re used to only sitting with each other.

“Mr. Walker, teaching safe sex by breaking the condom,” Jeremy adds, awkwardly pushing himself through the sentence, face reddening and almost choking over the word “sex”.

“Damn right!” Michael says and Jeremy’s face blanched. He looked around and sighed with relief when he realized no teachers were nearby.

“Dude, why have you been cursing lately? What if your parents hear you?”

Michael shrugs and bites his sandwich. “My dad curses all the time. He won’t give a shit.”

Jeremy groans and glares at Michael. Michael laughs and swallows his bite of food. His face becomes more serious, and the shift worries Jeremy.

“So… what did you think about that last part of his speech?”

“The STD part?”

“No!” Michael puts down his sandwich and looks towards his lap, mumbling. “The- the gay part?”

“Oh,” Jeremy says and he stops to think for a second. He had heard the word “gay” tossed around as an insult pretty often. He’s pretty sure someone called him gay once. His dad had sat him down and taught him what the word meant, though, and how it was fine, so he didn’t feel insulted about it. He shrugs and looks at Michael. “What’s to think? Guys can like guys, girls can like girls. I’m not about to judge someone for it.”

Michael's head darts up and his eyes widen. “Really?”

“Well, I mean, yeah.”

“Okay, well, this makes this easier.” Michael lets out a puff of air. “Jer, I’m pretty sure I’m gay.”

  
“Woah, really?”

“Yeah. I mean, girls are pretty and all-”

“-especially Christine-”

“-but I’m not interested in them like that. I kinda have a crush on a guy.”

Jeremy’s bug eyed by this point. “Who?”

“Unimportant.” Michael brushed off and Jeremy pouted. “What’s important is that you accept me for it?”

“Uh, obviously,” Jeremy replied. Was Michael scared that Jeremy was going to stop being his friend? “Michael, bro, you’re my best friend. Of _course_ I accept you.”

Michael’s tense shoulders drop and he sighs out of relief. He grins wide, and his face just… glows. He's saying something, Jeremy can see his mouth forming words, but he's not paying attention to that.

He's paying attention to how his heart sped up a little and how his face flushed a little seeing how genuinely happy that made Michael, and Jeremy wants to see that expression forever.

Recognizing the feelings swirling inside of him shocks him incredibly. You see, thirteen-year-old Jeremy was unaware that bisexuality and pansexuality were two valid and normal sexualities. He had been taught straight or gay with a bold line in between, so his thoughts were something along the lines of:

_I have a crush on a girl! There's no way I have a crush on Michael too! I just liked seeing him happy because we're best friends!_

Well, seventeen-year-old Jeremy thankfully had a better grasp on who he was as a person and realized that “Hey… I'm actually bi”.

Who knew that a talk in eighth grade that started from bananas and condoms would result in two of the biggest self-realizations Jeremy has ever had?

Guess you never really know what to expect.

***

Three weeks into the fake relationship with Michael, and Jeremy made a promise with himself:

_In the span of one month, sometime during then, I'll tell Michael how I really feel about him._

He comes up with that promise when his arms are looped around Michael's waist. He decides that as his face is buried in Michael's neck.

It's ironic, actually. Deciding to tell your crush you like them while you're hugging them as if you're dating.

That's the whole thing that pushed him to break his previous promise. He doesn't even know why he ever thought he'd be able to hide his feelings from Michael for life.

Sure, he dated Christine. Dated her for a month.

Do you want to know what that month consisted of? Awkward hand holding, one very awkward kiss that neither of them liked, and four dates all of which were like hang out sessions. Jeremy had literally forgotten she was his girlfriend during the first “date” until she leaned in and kissed his cheek.

They weren't meant for each other, and they're okay with that. Jeremy thinks that he may have grown a crush on her because he was in eighth grade, and it seemed like everyone had a crush, including Michael. He saw a pretty girl who seemed nice and thought “yup, that's the one” and started crushing on her.

(Maybe it was a subconscious cover-up for his crush on Michael?)

What Jeremy's trying to say is that ever since the Squip incident, he and Michael had only gotten closer. If they stayed this close to one another, there was no way Jeremy would be able to keep his heart quiet for all those years.

He better say it soon so he doesn't end up blurting it out at Michael's wedding or something. Better safe than sorry.

That reminded him of the wedding in May, the one Michael agreed to go to with him. Jeremy wondered if Michael would even want to go with him anymore in a month’s time.

He decided not to scare himself with thoughts he couldn't answer and just wait until then to worry about it.

And worry about it he will.

***

One month of fake dating.

“Hey, Jeremy?”

Jeremy presses the speaker phone option on his phone and puts his phone on his desk.

“Yeah, Michael?”

“I never told you the whole truth about the party.”

“The- the Halloween one?”

“Yeah.” Michael takes a breath and blows it out before speaking. “I had a panic attack after you left.”

“You- you _what?!_ Why didn't you tell me?” Jeremy's freaking out. How is Michael so calm about this?

“It didn't last too long. It sucked a lot, but I realized that night that you were going through a lot too.” Michael coughs out a laugh. “I did burn some friendship mementos, though. Kinda regret that now.”

“You- I- A panic attack is worse than what I was-”

“Rich woke up way before you, you know. Me and him talked a lot whenever I came to visit. I asked him about the Squip and he told me about it, so don't you dare tell me that you weren't suffering more than me.”

Jeremy is at a loss for words. He opens and closes his mouth before he gets something out. “I abandoned you for a long ass time, though.”

“That you did. We both had shit times, but I know that what you did wasn't fully under your control, so while I was upset, a majority of it was directed at your Squip.” It's quiet for a little bit after that. Jeremy looks at his phone as if he can see Michael's face. It sucks that they weren't skyping. “You're one of the main reasons I like living, Jer.”

This time Jeremy wouldn't be able to get words out even if he tried. There's a bit of pain in the middle of his throat. Michael continues talking.

“Rich told me that it would shock him whenever he did something wrong. Was that the same for you?”

Jeremy nods before he realizes that Michael can't see him and says, “Uh… yeah.”

“Like what?”

“Slouching, looking down, fidgeting, that kind of stuff. Also… uh… _other_ activities.”

“You can say masturbating, Jeremy. Don't worry, I won't tell your dad.”

Jeremy awkwardly laughed. Michael's tone turned serious again.

“I am so sorry you had to go through that.”

“I'm- it's- well, I mean, I'm kind of the one who asked for and bought-”

“No one asks for their insecurities to be rubbed in their face and spike their depression and anxiety, Jeremy,” Michael tells him. Jeremy's eyes are burning a bit. “You wanted something to help your awkwardness, not make you want to actually die.”

“I… I mean…”

“Stop trying to blame yourself, Jeremy,” Michael says softly and Jeremy sniffs, crying by this point. “Yeah, you did some stuff wrong, so yeah, some things may be your fault, but the majority of it is the Squip’s fault, alright? I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at that computer. That stuff I mentioned that you did wrong? The Squip is who made you think that those were the right options.”

Jeremy doesn't say anything again. He's wiping at his eyes to try to clear his vision by now.

“Do you want me to come over?”

“What? It's late.”

“It's ten PM on a Friday. I think I'll be okay driving over. See you soon!”

Michael hangs up the phone after that and true to his word shows up a few minutes later. As soon as Jeremy opens the door, Michael is hugging him and reassuring him.

Jeremy remembers how lucky he is to have someone like Michael in his life (how could he forget?). He remembers that no matter what happens, they'll always have each other, and he almost blurts out how he feels.

“Hey, Michael?”

“Yeah?”

“Uh… I, um, I… thank you for coming over.”

“No problem, dude.”

Jeremy still has three weeks until the month is over. He'll get to it when he gets to it.

***

Well… this is not what Jeremy expected to happen.

He followed Michael into the kitchen, ready to talk from his heart and spill his actual feelings.

Jeremy was actually feeling pretty confident that day, which was rare. He had a feeling that Michael would accept him and give actually dating him a chance. He didn't care that they were in Jake's kitchen; he was telling Michael right here, right now.

He enters the kitchen and Michael turns around and jumps hard. He lets out a breathy laugh and sets down the water bottle. Jeremy pauses a moment to take in Michael's rigid posture and the dark grooves under his eyes that even his glasses couldn't conceal. He looked exhausted.

Jeremy decided to find out what was wrong first before saying anything too hasty.

“You… haven't been yourself lately. You can tell me what's up, dude.”

Michael looks away from him and seems to have a debate with himself. He even closes his eyes and scrunches up his eyebrows.

Jeremy's heart rate spikes. That's not a good expression from someone you were about to confess to. That expression was a mixture of pain and determination. It was _not_ a happy expression.

It terrified Jeremy into stepping closer and putting his hands on Michael's shoulders. “Please tell me.”

Michael lets out a breath. “I think… we should break up.”

Jeremy stumbles back a step. His heart drops like a weight, along with his confident mood. His confidence goes swirling down the drain, being replaced with insecurity. He says the first thing that comes to mind. “What?”

Michael becomes tenser. His arms crossed, his posture like a stone. Jeremy's freaking out on the inside, just breathing heavily on the outside.

“This prank is stupid. We aren't gaining anything from it, so we might as well end it now.”

Right. Prank.

It's still just a prank. This, whatever they had, wasn't real.

It sure as hell had felt real, and Jeremy had actually thought that Michael may have loved him back.

What a fucking idiot.

“... Are you sure this is what you want?”

“Positive.”

Jeremy stops listening at that point. He sees Michael's mouth form words, but he can't tell what he says. Tears blur his vision, and he wishes they were back in eighth grade where this was easier and they hadn't fucked up their friendship. Where Jeremy wasn't listening because he was too busy swooning because of Michael's smile, not too busy hearing his heart split in two.

“Okay… if that's what you want.” He's rubbing his eyes and forcing lies through his teeth. His grin is forced and he laughs. “God, I don't know why I'm so emotional.”

Michael agrees with him. Jeremy says some shitty line about breakups, trying to make the air lighter and humorous instead of the suffocating tension. Rich calls out to them to tell them that the pizza is there and they agree to act awkward around each other at the table and in the living room.

Michael zones out bad at the table. Jeremy doesn't even eat anything, saying he's not hungry even though he was minutes ago. He just sits in the corner of the couch and pulls his knees to his chest.

Earlier, since the couch was small, Jeremy, Chloe, Jenna, and Michael had gotten to sit on it. They had decided to switch off after the pizza.

Rich and Jake were discussing which movie to pick when Michael walks out from the dining room.

“I'm gonna head out. Jeremy, do you still need a ride? I can get you later if you want,” he says and Jeremy shakes his head. He tries to muster up his best bitter voice instead of sounding completely heartbroken.

“I'll walk.”

Michael says a short “okay” before he leaves, the door clicking shut behind him.

Jake and Rich choose a movie, and Christine doesn't even try to move Jeremy from her spot. She sits on the floor in front of him and turns back to face him, giving him a small sad smile.

The movie plays. About half way through, Jeremy gets up and walks over into Jake's bathroom. He locks the door behind himself and looks at his reflection in the mirror.

One second. Two seconds. Three seconds-

His blank face crumbles and he grits his teeth. He shakes his head towards himself in the mirror and talks in a whisper.

“What did you think was going to happen, dumbass?”

It takes a while for him to calm himself down at that point. After about twenty minutes, he walks out into the bathroom and he feels like everyone's eyes linger on him as he sits back down where he was. He knows that his eyes are red, his face is carefully blank, and his hands are shaking ever so slightly. He just can't find it in himself to care too much.

Why did he ever think this prank would be funny? Why did he ever get himself involved in this mess?

Here he was now, curled up on his friend's uncle's couch, watching _Scream 2_ and heartbroken.

What a fun Saturday.

***

As the night approached, everyone started leaving.

Chloe, Jenna, and Brooke left first as a group, and Christine walked home shortly afterward. Right after she left, it started to drizzle, so Jeremy sighed and decided to start walking then too.

“Dude, we could just give you a ride home,” Rich offers. His voice is quieter than usual, which is at a normal level for everyone else. He's a naturally loud person, so it's weird to hear him lower his tone for Jeremy's sake.

“I've got a truck,” Jake adds and Jeremy shakes his head, a small smile on his face.

“No, don't worry. The rain isn't-” thunder crackles violently and lightning flashes “-actually… all that… bad.”

“Get in the car, tall ass.”

“Understood.”

Jake drives and Jeremy stares out the window as they drive. He's not in the mood for talking, hasn't been all day, but it seems that Rich is.

“Why didn't you call Michael for a ride?” he asks and Jeremy chews on his lip. He sighs and decides to go with the “truth”.

“We had a fight.” More of a, “we fake broke up and I'm being a little bitch about it”.

“So you were gonna walk the fifteen minutes home in a storm and get sick because of a little fight?” Jake asked then, and Jeremy could feel the look Rich gave him.

“C'mon, Jer, you know M would've come without hesitating dude. He's not-”

“We broke up, okay!” Jeremy blurts out, looking over at them. Jake just stares out into the road and Rich’s face softens.

It's kinda hard to tell what Rich is feeling, his emotions leaning towards happy and angry all the time, but Jeremy thinks he may be seeing pity at the moment.

“We broke up,” he repeats, quieter. He looks back out the window. “It wasn't working out, and I _really_ don't want to talk about it right now.”

“Dude, Jeremy,” Rich says. His voice is uncharacteristically soft. It's incredibly weird.

“I know I made the day weird, I'm sorry about that, and-”

“Don't apologize for that; you just broke up with someone! If Jake ever broke up with me-”

“-I would never!-”

“-I’d be 1,000 times worse.” Jeremy looks over at Rich, and Rich looks in pain just from thinking about it. Jeremy can understand where he's coming from. Jeremy's feeling that now. “You and Michael are close right?”

“Yeah…”

“I'm sure you guys will bounce back in no time. You two are some bouncy motherfuckers.” That sentence causes both Jeremy and Jake to laugh. Rich smiles a little before being serious again. “I don't mean to overstep, but I also don't care, so I'll just ask it. You're in love with him, aren't you?”

Jeremy jerkily nods his head. “Well, I bet he's in love with you too. You and Mike will be fine, Jer.”

They pull into his driveway and he thanks the two of them before hopping out and running into his house.

He greets his dad and nearly runs up the stairs but he dad continues talking.

“Michael drive you home?”

Jeremy hesitates a second before he shouts his answer. “Yeah!”

“Michael doesn't own a truck, Jeremy.”

“Shit,” Jeremy curses under his breath, and stands in the archway of the living room, smiling strained. He dad looks back at him.

“I'm assuming that was Jake?”

“And Rich.”

“I thought Michael was driving you home. Wasn't he supposed to spend the night?”

“He, uh, he decided to go home?”

“Go home early? And not give you a ride?”

“... Yes?”

“Jeremy, what happened?”

His dad looks completely concerned. Jeremy knows he's going to cry for a third time that day if he delves into this with his dad, so he takes a shaky breath and looks at the floor.

Wait… his promise to himself.

Tomorrow's the deadline.

Nothing major will happen if he doesn't go through with it. No skyscrapers will fall, the earth won't shatter, but Jeremy promised himself, and he's going to do it.

It's not the best timing, not at all, but he's going to do it tomorrow.

He looks up at his dad and gives him a small sad smile.

“Me and Michael are kind of… dealing with something right now.” He squints his eyes and coughs out a laugh. “That sounds… really shady. I swear it's not. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, okay?”

His dad hesitated for a few moments before he nodded and turned back around. As Jeremy walked up to his room, his dad called one last thing after him.

“Please don't do anything stupid.”

Well… stupid was his entire plan, but a good kind of stupid, so he supposed that passes.

***

Michael walked up to him, standing too close for comfort. Jeremy's skin was still chilled even underneath all the warm clothes he had on.

“Well, what is it?”

Jeremy ignored his shaking hands. He ignored his pounding heart and his sweaty palms.

This was it. He was going to do it.

Holy _shit._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so tired i almost changed tenser to tender, so one of the sentences in this would've been "Michael became tender"


	6. The Truth Comes Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Turns out that Jeremy wasn't so truthful about what he feels.

Jeremy's hands were shaking. They were shaking real bad, and that detail caught Michael's eyes.

Jeremy seemed to be hyping himself up to say something, and Michael just wanted him to say it. The suspense was killing him, and he really didn't want to be there at the moment.

What was he going to say? Did he realize that Michael's feelings for him were real? Has he fallen in love with another girl?

_Out with it, already!_ Michael mentally yelled, while on the outside, he stood calmly as ever until Jeremy's gaze focused back on him and he opened his mouth to say whatever he had to say.

… And he sneezed.

He fucking _sneezed._

Of course, him having walked in a storm to Michael's house for some godforsaken reason would get him sick. The sick part triggered Michael's worrying and he started on that immediately, momentarily forgetting his curiosity.

“Are you sick? Do you want some cough medicine or-”

“I'll be fine, Michael,” Jeremy cut him off. He looked at him with wide eyes, and Michael's heart panged painfully. “Just… please let me tell you this. And please don't freak out; just… think about it… okay?”

“Jer, I can't promise anything unless you tell me,” Michael joked, trying to ease the tension. Needless to say, it didn't work. Jeremy continued with his unwavering sincere gaze.

“Just promise me. Please?”

“... Alright.” Michael nodded. “I promise.”

He walked back and hopped onto the counter again. Jeremy took a deep breath and twiddled with his thumbs, looking down at his hands.

“I know something's been bugging you, and I can't tell whether it was the prank or not. If it was the prank, then what I say next will bug you even more, but I need to tell you.” Jeremy looks up at him and one thought runs through his head on repeat: _Please don't be a rejection._ “I want you to know that what I'm going to say is serious and that I mean every word wholeheartedly.”

“Jer, c'mon, you know you can tell me anything.” He forced a laugh. “This feels like a cliche anime confession scene.”

Humor is still useless, apparently. Jeremy's eyes are incredibly intense, and Michael bites his nails without even noticing.

“Alright…” Jeremy sighs. He looks up towards the ceiling and blinks a few times. Michael can't even read the expression on his face at this time. Jeremy looks back at him.

“You remember when you came out to me back in eighth grade?” he asks and Michael's sure that his face drops a little. _Are we seriously going to talk about my sexuality now?_

“Yeah…?” he slowly nods and Jeremy gulps.

“I'm pretty sure that's the first time I realized I liked you,” Jeremy says and Michael's eyes widen and he just stares. Apparently, that wasn't where Jeremy was finishing, though.

“Back then I didn’t know even know what bisexuality was, so I just kinda pushed down those feelings.” Jeremy takes a deep breath and looks over at the wall. Michael’s just frozen, staring at him with his mouth dropped open. “I was confused for so long, but as time passed, I became more and more sure I had a crush on you.”

“It’s gotten really big for me now, to the point where I don’t think I’d be able to keep it bottled up or forget about it, so I had to tell you before you figured it out from my tears.” Michael’s thought process was just a bunch of incoherent yelling. It was honestly rather annoying. “I might as well go all the way at this point; we’re gonna be really awkward after this anyway.”

Jeremy looks back at Michael and Michael’s staring back at him. His full heart feels pricked when he sees tears on Jeremy’s face. Jeremy laughs sadly.

“Michael, I’m _super_ in love with you. I-I love you more than anyone, dude,” he confesses and Michael has to pick his jaw up from the floor. He freezes up even more. “I just- I- Um. Yeah.”

“Oh my God,” Michael chokes out after a few seconds and Jeremy laughs again. Lightning flashes outside and causes Michael to jump. He had completely forgotten that it was even raining.

Jeremy sniffs and wipes his face. He looks back towards the wall again. “Yeah. I’m... I’m sorry for taking advantage of you with the fake dating thing. You- you just offered that chance and my heart leaped on it cause, well, I’m in love with you.”

“So!” Jeremy exclaims, smiling. It’s super fake. He rocks on his feet and looks at Michael. “Would you mind giving me an umbrella so I can get home? I don’t want to get more sick than I am.”

Michael hops off of the counter and walks towards Jeremy. Jeremy’s looking at the floor at the moment, so he doesn’t notice him.

“I guess the awkwardness between us tomorrow won’t be that faked. That’s good, I mean- mph!”

Michael reaches Jeremy and decides to act off his impulses. He grabs Jeremy’s face and pulls him down, kissing him excitedly.

The kiss is a lot like their first: it sucks, Michael’s doing all the kissing, and Jeremy is standing there frozen.

After a few seconds of kissing him, Michael pulls away and looks at him. He slowly puts his hands back on Jeremy’s face, wiping away his remaining tears gently. That movement causes Jeremy to unfreeze and stare at Michael for a few seconds before pulling his arms around his waist and kissing him again. Michael eagerly kissed back, smiling and feeling tears well up behind his eyelids.

Michael never imagined that this would happen. He had especially never thought it would happen in his kitchen while he’s in his boxers and the two of them are kissing. If anything, he thought maybe an awkward confession while gaming or in his car, but nope. Boxers and his kitchen. Oh, and rain.

Jeremy pulls away for a second before kissing him again. Michael knows he’s fully crying by this point, and he just winds his arms around Jeremy’s neck, pulling him even closer. Jeremy’s hold on him becomes tighter.

The heavy anxiety weighing down Michael’s heart near vanishes. His mood of hopelessness from earlier is completely wiped away, replaced with joy.

(Michael knows he was being a bit dramatic with his sadness, but can you really blame him? He had broken up with the love of his life yesterday, of course, it put him in a depressive mood.)

After a little bit more of kissing, Jeremy pulls away and hugs him, burying his face in his neck. Michael laughs and hugs back, petting his hair with one hand. Jeremy kisses his neck softly and Michael can feel his grin.

“I broke up with you because I was afraid of getting too attached… and of you finding out I was actually in love with you,” Michael explains quietly and Jeremy laughs. “I made a promise to myself three weeks ago yesterday to break up with you if you hadn’t broken up with me.”

“Funny that. I made myself a promise one month ago today to confess to you,” Jeremy replies, voice a bit muffled. Michael laughs then and hums.

“You're the boy I told you I had a crush on in eighth grade,” Michael confesses and Jeremy pulls back, looking at him with wide eyes.

“Really?!”

“Yeah. Somewhere between your heart eyes from Christine and your pure embarrassment during health, I fell for you,” he explains and grins when Jeremy somehow blushes more than he already was. He can't tease him out loud, though; he's pretty sure he's in the same boat as him.

Jeremy doesn't say anything, just presses his forehead against Michael's and closes his eyes. Michael does the same, and after a minute of two of just listening to the rainfall, Jeremy speaks up.

“Your face looks weird from this angle.”

“What a romantic,” Michael responds before he starts laughing, ducking his head a little. Jeremy lets up his hold and Michael backs away a little, wrapping his arms around his stomach.

He can't believe how _happy_ he feels. Words can express his exact emotions in this moment.

Jeremy just waits until he calms down, looking at him with fond eyes. Michael does calm down after a few moments, standing up straight and grinning at him.

“Good to see that actual boyfriend Jeremy remains blunt as ever.”

Jeremy's eyes widen. “We're dating again?”

“Well, I mean, I would hope so. For real this time,” Michael says and Jeremy grins wider than he's ever seen him grin before.

“Awesome!” he hugs him again, nearly lifting him up off his feet.

“Ah, yes, my buff boyfriend, trying but failing.”

“I think I'm going to stop functioning every time you call me your boyfriend.”

“Good, because I plan to never stop now that it's real.”

Jeremy pulls away and smiles softly at him before his face falls a little. Michael reaches up and cups his cheek.

“What's wrong?”

“I just realized that we have to come up with something to tell the group on Monday,” he mutters and Michael thinks for a second before speaking.

“The way I see it, Jer, we either tell them the truth about everything, or we stick to the plan of acting awkward around each other for a few days before coming back together again.”

Jeremy thinks as well, biting his lip. “I say the latter. I want to tell them the truth, but… not right away.”

“Alright, baby,” Michael responds and Jeremy grins, kissing his forehead.

“I'm gonna hate this week.”

“Same here.”

“I'm so glad that I didn't chicken out of confessing again.” Jeremy grabs Michael's hands and just holds them. “Now I can kiss you whenever I want. Also, I can call you pet names without feeling awkward about it. I can also tell you about some of the shit I thought during the fake relationship.”

“Oh, I'm excited. By the way, you're spending the night.”

“I am?”

“I'll fight you if you don't,” Michael threatens and Jeremy laughs. Michael pulls away one of his hand and starts pulling Jeremy downstairs. “Now it's time for you to tell me about your thoughts.”

“Oh boy. I'm gonna regret that, aren't I?”

“Yep!”

***

Monday comes, and Jeremy took the bus. Michael was going to drive him, but it seems that Jeremy was going to stick to the plan to a T, so Michael drives himself to school.

He parks his car and locks in, taking a second to put on his best tired/upset expression and pulls on his hood. He nods his head to himself and stuffs his hands in his pockets, walking into the school.

Kids who don't like him see his mood change. They make fun of him under his breath, but he doesn't give a shit. He just walks to his locker, thinking about the stupid game he hadn't managed to beat with Jeremy on Sunday.

He opens his locker and just looks through it. After a minute, someone taps his shoulder. He spins around and sees Rich standing there. Rich has this look on his face, and Michael can't really interpret it. Well, he can't until the guy is suddenly hugging him.

“Bro, I'm so sorry you guys broke up, it must be rough,” Rich says in one breath before pulling away and looking at his face with squinted eyes. “Oh God, you look terrible, dude. Did you get any sleep?”

Michael's mind flashbacks to cuddling with Jeremy and falling asleep with Jeremy's head on his chest. He shakes his head. “Honestly? Not really.”

“That really sucks man. You never responded to my texts, by the way.”

“You texted me? I had my phone off,” Michael lies. It seems that the fake relationship sharpened his lying skills. That… isn't really good, now that he thinks about it.

“Yeah, three times. It's whatever, though. They weren't important.” Rich leans against the lockers and folds his arms. “What are you going to do at lunch?”

Michael shrugs. “Probably sit at the table like normal. I don't know yet.”

Michael catches a glimpse of Jeremy over Rich’s shoulder. Jeremy smiles at him before taking a breath and frowning, and wow, if Michael didn't know it was an act, he would feel really bad for him. Michael stares at him with wide sad eyes, and Jeremy picks up the pace, walking by quicker. When Michael looks back to Rich, Rich is looking at Jeremy, before looking to Michael again.

“You really love him, don't you?” Rich asks and Michael feels that familiar pain in his throat as if he was going to cry. Nice.

“Yeah... I really do,” he chokes out and Rich pats his shoulder.

“I see this is hurting you. I'm gonna go, okay? I'll see you later, dude,” he says, hugging him again before walking away. Michael calms himself down before closing his locker and walking towards his first class. He doesn't get too far because Jeremy opens the door to the boy's bathroom and pulls him in.

As soon as he gets in the bathroom, Jeremy pushes him against a wall and kisses him. He pulls away a few seconds later and Michael's left breathless.

“Wow…”

“You looked like you were actually about to cry,” Jeremy says right away. “Are you okay?”

“... I love you.”

“I love you too, sweetheart,” Jeremy responds, kissing his cheek. “Can we stop doing this Friday? It's only the morning on Monday and it already sucks.”

“Friday morning?”

“Even better.”

Michael kisses him again before smiling.

“Alright, let’s get out there and be some angsty gay teens,” Michael says and Jeremy laughs.

“Perfect.”

Jeremy leaves and Michael leaves a few minutes after him, hood still up, and a tired look on his face.

At least he's had his experience being an angsty gay teen in the past. That made this all the easier for him.

***

Lunchtime comes, and it's kinda weird.

Well, it's weird for everyone else except Jeremy and Michael.

They sit next to each other as per usual, except this time, Michael has his headphones on with no music playing with his head down, and Jeremy's having a conversation with the table about their breakup.

(Weird, right? They thought he wasn't listening though, and that's the only time everyone's together, so Michael kind of gets it.)

“I'm not going to drop him as my friend just cause we broke up, Jenna!” Jeremy hisses out. Jeremy nudges Michael's foot with his foot, and Michael's glad that his smile is hidden. He's also glad that his headphones don't block out the conversation.

“I didn't say that! I just asked if it's awkward to be friends with your ex.”

“Well, I mean… I'm hoping we get back together, I mean, I still love him,” Jeremy responds, and Michael blushes heavily. “He broke up with me, you know?”

“Why do you think he did that?” Michael hears Brooke ask and he hears Jeremy stutter.

“Maybe fear or something? I don't know what he'd be afraid of. I probably did something wrong.”

This is actually really entertaining to listen to. Michael wonders if this is what Jeremy was really thinking after they “broke up”, and then he's sad. Good going, Michael.

“I'm sorry, dude.” Jake.

“I'll be okay. We'll be over this in no time.” Friday. Michael can't wait.

“I hope. This is really weird. And awkward.” Chloe.

“Chloe!” Brooke.

“I'm just saying what everyone thinks! Obviously this is really hard on the two of them, and obviously, this is going to be awkward. I just think that sitting here in this awkward tension is really unhealthy and they should just, well, they should just fucking _talk_ to each other.”

_Well said, Chloe,_ Michael thinks. It's a good thing that they did actually talk to each other beforehand, though.

“I'll… I might. I'll try. God, this sucks.”

Dammit, Jeremy's a really good actor. Michael realized then that Jeremy wasn't acting during those instances of jealousy and love, and he grins to himself.

Jeremy didn't tell him too much of his thoughts, just mostly stuff about the two of them kissing and pet name shit. They then got really involved in Apocalypse of the Damned and played for hours on end.

Super romantic.

“I'd think so. You two usually hang out during Study Hall, don't you? What are you going to do?” Christine.

“Why do I feel like I'm at an interview?” Jeremy jokes forced sounding laughter. “Probably just chill in the corner of the library or something.”

The bell rings and everyone gets up to go. Michael acts like he doesn't hear it and someone taps him, and he looks up to see Jeremy staring at him wide eyed, hand pulled to his chest like it was burned. Michael pulls off his headphones.

“Yeah?”

“The- the, uh, bell… rang.”

“Oh. Okay.”

And Michael gets up and goes. He can feel Jeremy's stare on his back, so he just keeps going. He gets to the library first, and a few minutes later, Jeremy gets there and bends down, kissing him before sitting down next to him.

“I feel like Romeo and Juliet,” he says and Michael coughs out a laugh.

“That's a little dramatic, isn't it? We're literally just two stupid teenage boys who got too deep into a lie.”

Jeremy's quiet after that. After a minute, he speaks again.

“...I feel like Romeo and Juliet.”

Michael laughs out, “Okay, babe.”

***

Sure, Michael's sleeping better now. Yeah, he really is, the plastic no longer wearing him down, but he's still an anxious and depressed teen, so he's still up at four AM on Wednesday.

He's not even trying to sleep that day, no, he's sitting at his desk and trying to read. He has music blasting in his ears, and the words are just blurs on a page, so he stares out his window instead.

Let's review the week, shall we?

Michael's actual boyfriend is the only boy he's ever loved. That boy loves him back, about the same amount actually.

They're acting as if they're awkward in the public eye, but kissing each other when they're alone.

That's… not exactly healthy, and really stupid. As previously stated, no one gives a shit whether or not they're dating, so why hide it like this?

(Except for a few assholes, but Michael doesn't give a shit about them, so that works itself out.)

Oh, right. They're dumbasses.

Whatever. The lies would end come Friday.

Now, onto more important things:

Jeremy's dating him.

Sure, it's only been a few days, but Michael already wants to marry the boy.

The experience has mostly been the same as how they were before everything happened, just with some "couple" things thrown in, and it was wonderful.

Now they watched movies with Jeremy sitting in Michael's lap instead of next to him, but they still made really stupid commentary throughout the movie.

Now they kissed each other all the time without that sting of pain that came afterward, but Michael still said things like “You taste like Mountain Dew Red. Are you alright?”

Now they… well, they had only been together for a total of three days. They hadn't exactly experienced many things as an actual couple, and Michael couldn't wait to continue experiencing things.

Michael's a romantic, in a way. He wants to take Jeremy to prom, he wants to make him one of those cheesy ass mixtapes just to make him one. He wants to just go on a pointless road trip with him one day, and probably end up getting lost. He wants to experience a lot of things with Jeremy by his side.

Jeremy has been his crutch for most of his life. His only friend, his best friend, his crush. They've been through so much together, and here they were, two stumbling teenagers that seriously lack social skills.

They've only had each other for so long, so obviously, everything that happened to one of them, the other knew. Now that they were dating, there were no secrets between the two of them.

Michael had made Jeremy a mixtape before. It was full of all the songs he knew Jeremy liked, plus a lot Michael liked. They listened to it in the car a lot.

Michael had asked Jeremy to prom back in Freshman year. Well… technically. He had basically said “If neither of us has a date, let's go to prom together” and Jeremy agreed.

Michael had gone on a pointless road trip with Jeremy before. And they had gotten seriously lost. It took three hours of driving, horrible Google Map instructions, and questionable conversations with gas station employees for them to make it home just before curfew.

The point to this long winded and seemingly pointless thought process is that they _had_ experienced those things together.

Now that they were together, it kind of changed that, but also didn't?

… Do you understand that? Probably not. Michael's thoughts usually didn't make sense.

Either way, he wanted to experience it again and again until he was sick of it because Jeremy was by his side. Jeremy was one of his main reasons that he didn't just break down.

… This is why Michael tended not to share his thoughts. It just paints his picture to be confused and entirely too dependant on Jeremy.

Whatever. He's going to try to go to bed.

Maybe have a good dream this night, if he was lucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I bullshitted so much of this ohmygod ew


	7. Coming Back Together (Sorta)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friday comes, and Michael and Jeremy "get back together".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is short but i like where it ended so yeet
> 
> also i call this the "pushing my emotions/feelings onto Michael Mell because I relate to him and life just really mcsucks sometimes" chapter, but that title was too long so
> 
> ya

On Friday, Michael drives Jeremy to school. Jeremy, apparently, stood up late planning this entire “getting back together” ordeal, and honestly, it was amusing to see Jeremy getting so worked up over his plan.

“And Michael, I swear to the Lord almighty above, if your acting resembles your acting when we skipped class the first time and your mom asked about it, I will whack you!”

Michael laughs loudly and pulls into the parking lot. He parks his car, checking the time. They have about ten minutes before they should head inside, and after voicing that fact to Jeremy, Jeremy turns to look at him with a hard stare. Michael sighs.

“Are you about to make me repeat the action plan to you?”

“Yes.”

“Alrighty,” Michael said, pausing for a moment to collect his thoughts. “We walk in together talking, and we're both smiling and shit. Oh, I forgot to mention; Rich has been at my locker every morning the past few days. What should I tell him?”

“Uh… act confused? Tell him that I randomly started acting friendly and stuff towards you,” Jeremy answered and Michael hums.

“... Okay.” Michael pushes up his glasses and pauses to think again. “Then, at lunch, I sit there, looking angsty like all week, and you come in after everyone's there. You make a big scene about wanting to talk to me, we go outside, probably actually talk about some dumb shit, kiss, then everything's all better!”

Jeremy nods and grins. “What I said before stands. Please don't act like some edge-lord when I come in for lunch.”

“Ah, right. Better cross sixth grade Jeremy off the list then.”

Jeremy slaps his arm and Michael chuckles again. Jeremy leans over and kisses him before exiting the car. Michael does the same, checking the time and seeing that they should go in now, also seeing the buses emptying and kids pouring in the school.

“Put on your best… tired but relieved… face? If that makes sense?” Michael does just that and Jeremy looks concerned for a second. “That's… scarily accurate as to what I was imagining.”

“I've had a lot of experience with that mixture of emotions, babe,” Michael explained, pulling up his hood. “Let's go already.”

They enter the school, chatting idly to one another as they walk. Getting closer to Michael's locker, Jeremy quietly points out that Rich is watching them, and they part, Michael smiling down at the floor like it was some kind of secret.

Well… it actually was.

“Uh… what?” Rich asks as soon as Jeremy is out of hearing range. Michael just shrugs his shoulders.

“I have no idea. We've been pretty much ignoring each other all week, and then he texts me asking for a ride and talks to me like nothing's wrong,” Michael says while sifting through books. “I mean, I was the one to break up with him, but this is still weird, so I just rolled with it.”

“Do you think he wants to get back together with you?” Rich bluntly asks, and Michael gives him a look.

“Rich, just because he's acting nice to me doesn't mean he wants to date me again. I blew it once… I won't get the chance to blow it again.”

Those words actually hurt Michael to say. Their relationship hadn't even lasted a week, yet… they felt strangely… true.

He shook his head. _Ignore it._

“I can see how easily you guys love each other.” Rich points out and Michael hums. “The book bags weren't for nothing, Michael!”

“Speaking of which, that really sucked, because while I appreciated the matchmaking service, you weren't my only bully at the time,” Michael calls him out and Rich flinches.

“I'm still sorry for the shit I caused you, man.” Rich looks sincere and puts a hand over his heart. “I swear on my heart to never bully you ever again.”

Michael decides to test the waters and reaches over, rubbing Rich’s hair and talking in a baby voice. “That's so sweet of you, little gay gremlin.”

“Michael, I am two seconds away from taking back that swear.”

Michael takes back his hand, closing his locker and shoving both hands in his hoodie pocket. The bell rings overhead. “Noted. Catch you in lunch, dude.”

Rich nods before walking off to his class. Michael takes a second to breathe before beginning to walk.

Morning confrontation: completed. Now he only had to get through lunch and Biology with Christine.

He got this.

***

He don't got this.

Actually, his anxiety, depression, and tendency to not believe that the feelings other people express for him got this.

They had this situation so controlled that by second period, just one hundred and sixty minutes before lunch, they had Michael convinced Jeremy was pranking him.

Okay, that sounds stupid. Let him explain.

Michael breaks off the first prank. Jeremy's an incredible actor. They're both angsty. Not even twenty-four hours pass before Jeremy comes over and actually confesses to him.

That seemed… too good to be true. Way too good to be true in the hell that was Michael's life.

(One friend for a majority of his life, and an abusive father. His entire friend group now is one angel, one amazing boy, and six other people who used to hate him. ((Brooke and Jenna were iffy, but that's because he never did anything for Jenna to gossip about, and Brooke was nice in her own way.)) All in all, his life was pretty shitty.)

Yes, Jeremy kissed him like Michael was his air supply.

Yes, Jeremy made sure to tell him “I love you” a lot.

Yes, Jeremy complimented him.

Yes, they really are best friends.

But Michael didn't even need a Squip to hold a magnifying glass over his insecurities and worries. They were already under one of those powerful microscopes you use to look at a leaf or water in science class.

He had been on his toes ever since the Squipcident (of all the names, Rich). Watching out for every falter in Jeremy's words, everything that could give away that Jeremy was on the Squip again. Sometimes, his mind liked to convince him things that he didn't see, no, of things that he subconsciously believed.

The thought in question during this severely boring lecture?

Michael's a loser in Jeremy's eyes.

It's stupid, and he knows it as the mantra “You're a nobody loser” plays like a broken record in his mind. But, seriously, think about it:

Jeremy could have anyone he wanted at this point; he's friends with some of the most popular people. Yet… he chose… Michael?

Michael had _just_ broken up with him when Jeremy came back and confessed. Nervous, skeptical Jeremy. Jeremy who startled at loud noises and _any type_ of confrontation, such as confessing your love. Jeremy?

That wasn't like him at all.

A ball of paper hits the back of his head. Michael turns around to see a concerned looking Jeremy in the back room.

Right. He forgot they had this class together.

Jeremy's eyebrows raised and Michael shook his head, grinning, and turning back around.

_See, brain, Jeremy could tell that something was wrong without even seeing my face,_ he told himself. His brain thought differently than his… brain… however.

(... What?)

_He's making sure you don't figure out that he's pranking you,_ it responds and Michael nearly huffs out loud in frustration. _Jeremy wouldn't do that to me!_

That's also his thing. He thinks thoughts that are no way in hell true, such as “Jeremy hates you” or “Your mom thinks you're a mistake”. They sting a lot, and he damn well knows that they're wrong, but his brain wears down onto him until he falls into the evil clutches if believing it.

This ties into his dependency issues.

Michael's the type of person who needs a constant reminder that he's loved. Even before they were dating, he and Jeremy texted each other that they loved each other every other day.

(The months without him were… _actually hell._ Months of a one sided conversation between the two of them with Michael texting him things like “I love you”, “I forgive you”, “Answer me you furry fucker”, and “I'll save you, I promise”.)

Michael needing that constant validation made him feel annoying. He felt like he was being a bother to everyone and everything and that he was just a-

_Yes, Michael, let's think panic attack inducing thoughts in the middle of class,_ he said to himself, shaking his head again. _Stop being a dumbass and be happy with what you have._

He tries to tune back into class, but the teacher's words go through one ear and out the other. Eventually, she passes out papers, but before Michael can even think about starting his work, she stops by his desk, a small smile on her face.

“Michael, sweetie, are you alright? Your face is all pale and you've had this look like you're either going to throw up, or you're terrified all class. Do you want to go to the nurse?” she asks and Michael smiles. She's always been really nice.

“No, I, um-” he remembers that Jeremy's gonna ask what's wrong after this class. “-actually… yes, please.”

He gets a slip to go to the nurse. Jeremy gives him a wide eyed look as he leaves, and Michael just feels more nauseous.

He gets to the nurse's office, and before he can explain himself, he walks himself right into the attached bathroom and throws up.

Slushy and a candy bar are a lot sourer coming back up.

You learn something new every day, he guesses.

***

After his mini freak out in the nurse's office, he returns to classes during fourth period.

Eventually, the dreaded lunch comes. It's rather weird, seeing as how he had been looking forward to this moment all week, but now he was fearing it.

Oh, God, what if their friends were in on the joke?

Michael gets to the table while Rich, Chloe, and Christine are there. They all give him sad looks, and he pulls on his headphones, head down again. His stomach is still twisting painfully.

Everyone eventually files in, and Jeremy comes in ten minutes into the period. He taps Michael, as planned, and Michael looks up to him with wide, shocked eyes. _Nailed the expression._

“Uh…” he says, intelligently.

“Can we talk? Outside?”

Michael nods slowly before getting up and following Jeremy outside. They get a safe distance, still able to be seen, but not heard. Michael's posture is tense as he waits for the pain that probably won't come.

Or maybe it will.

He slaps on a smile and starts talking about a video game before Jeremy cuts him off.

“What's wrong, sweetheart? You look so scared right now, I can't understand it,” Jeremy says, taking both of Michael's hands and Michael's mind goes blank.

“This is… uh… going against the… script-”

“Fuck the script! Your mental state is more important here.” Jeremy runs his thumbs over Michael's knuckles and Michael's lip quivers. “I love you, baby, please tell me.”

Michael's vision blurs and he's sure Jeremy is viewing him as a mess. _Stop it! He cares about you!_

Michael bites his lip (a habit he picked up from Jeremy) before just throwing himself forward and hugging Jeremy, burying his face in his neck.

Jeremy's response is immediate. He's hugging back and rubbing his back, whispering reassuring things in his ear.

“That's what you were worried about? If I loved you or not?”

“It… I know it's only been a few days but… it seemed too convenient and… fuck, I know you've been through more than me, and hurt worse, but this is all so-”

“Don't compare your pain to mine. Your pain is validated, Michael.”

“... Okay. It just… my mind made me think you were playing a prank on me,” Michael confesses and Jeremy sort of half gasps before pulling away. He grabs Michael's face and kisses him hard, which, for some reason, only makes Michael cry harder.

When Jeremy breaks the kiss, he hugs him again, tighter this time. “I love you so much, sweetheart. Don't ever doubt that. Even when your mind tells you shit, even whenever I'm off my game, even when you're off your game. I love you no matter what happens. Dude, you could literally deck me and I'll still be super in love with you like I said.”

Michael ugly laughs at that and clung onto Jeremy tighter.

After he calms down, they decided to go back in, and literally as soon as they sit down, Michael is blinded by the flash of Jenna’s camera.

“Why,” Jeremy complains and Michael blinks rapidly.

“I'd like to thank not only God but Jesus too,” Chloe says, gesturing towards the two of them. “It only took one week for these dumbasses to realize the mistake they were making.”

“Huh?” Michael responds, seeing clearer. Like some sort of instinct, Jeremy puts an arm around his waist and pulls him flush to his side. Brooke clarifies what Chloe was saying.

“Well, it was obvious that you two loved each other.”

  
“Not obvious to everyone!” Jeremy argues, looking at Michael with a soft smile. “We had no idea that we are mutually in love with each other.”

Michael smiles back and Jeremy kisses his forehead before turning back to the group.

“This is cute and all, but if Jake and I have a PDA limit, then so do you guys,” Rich points out and Christine shushed him.

“Let them have their moment, Richard! This week had been rough on them!”

“Fine! No more of this shit next week, though!”

Christine nods and smiles at the two of them. “I’m glad you guys worked through whatever was wrong.”

Jeremy smiles at her and squeezes Michael’s side. “Same here.”

Michael looks at him again, then looks around the table and grins wide. “Super same here.”

***

Michael opens his front door to see an all too excited Jeremy standing there, hands in pockets and a grin on his face. He’s wearing a t-shirt and jeans, and the lack of a cardigan throws Michael off for a second, but then he remembers that it’s April, nearly May.

Meanwhile, Michael, in all his glory, is leaning against the doorway with messed up hair, tired eyes, in a t-shirt himself and weed boxers. He sees Jeremy give him a once over and blush slightly before dramatically whistling.

“What a hottie,” Jeremy says and Michael barks out a laugh. He runs a hand through his hair, trying to tame it slightly and stands up straighter.

“Not that I don’t love seeing my boyfriend at nine AM on Saturday,” he starts, giving Jeremy a look, “but why are you here?”

“To hang out? Go on a date? I don’t know. I want to do _something_ with you.”

“Can we go get breakfast? I didn’t eat dinner yesterday.”

“Michael,” Jeremy says disappointedly. “Do I need to remind you to eat meals again?”

“Hey, hey, buddy, that was a two-way street! We reminded each other to eat!”

Jeremy waves his hand and smiles. “Where do you want to go?”

“McDonald's.”

Michael assumes it’s how quickly he answered, how sure he is in his answer, and what his choice was is what makes Jeremy laugh. Michael moves out of the doorway and Jeremy enters, Michael shutting the door behind him.

“Of all places… you choose McDonald's.”

“I like their hash browns,” Michael says, equally as confident as his last answer, face blank. Jeremy snickers again. “I’m gonna get dressed.”

“Wait, wait, before you do…”

Jeremy cuts himself off by stepping forward and kissing Michael, pressing him into the wall. Michael kisses back just as eagerly, fingers tangling in Jeremy’s hair. Jeremy pulls back for a second, grinning at him.

“I could get used to waking up this early on Saturday if you kiss me like that every time.”

“Your wish is my command,” Jeremy replies and Michael ducks his head to avoid laughing directly in his face. “W-What?”

“Never, ever, say that again,” Michael responds, looking up and kissing Jeremy again when he pouts dramatically. Jeremy smiles again before his face turns serious and Michael gets confused.

“Hey, I didn’t say it yet today. I love you, sweetheart.”

Michael’s heart warms up at that, his face reddening as well. He plasters on a goofy grin and tilts his head to the side.

“Just cause yesterday was an off day, it doesn’t mean you have to make sure you say that every day for my sake,” he brushes off and Jeremy’s face remains serious, leaning in to hug Michael, chin dropping on his shoulder.

“It isn’t me making sure of anything. It’s me expressing to you how I feel. It doesn’t hurt or bother or do anything bad to me when I tell you how in love with you I am. I’m reassuring you so that you never forget.” Jeremy kisses the side of his neck. “If you can do things like get a discontinued soda and stay there for me even after all the stuff I put you through, then I think I should be able to do something like tell you ‘I love you’.”

“It’s too early for me to get emotional, babe. I just want to put on some pants and go eat my artificial bacon,” Michael says, softly pushing Jeremy off of him. “I love you too. Now stay right here, Heere.”

Jeremy gives him that dumb little fond smile of his and Michael smiles back, running downstairs to change.

He pauses in the middle of changing to just fall onto his bed as if he were in a cheesy romance movie and wonder he got to be this lucky.

(He may have hit his head on the headboard in the process and shouted a curse, causing Jeremy to run downstairs to see Michael, with pants halfway up his thighs, laying on his bed with a dazed expression. Jeremy may have also laughed his ass off and Michael may have thrown a pillow at him and missed. Horribly.

Not everything went romance movie perfect, and that’s alright.)

Act two, scene eleven: Michael dubs it the “McDonalds” scene. The song? “Heart-shaped Bagel”.

A classic, really.


	8. He's in Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael thinks a bit, the group is actually made up of a bunch of eleven-year-olds, and space weddings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aAAAAA

Before Michael knew that he was head over heels in love with Jeremy, he kind of struggled with the idea that he was one day probably going to fall in love with someone and love them for life.

Crushes, he could handle. Crushes were easy, because they usually came and went like the weather, simple and fast. Besides, Michael didn't get all too many crushes on people. He was lucky and unlucky in that department, seeing as how his only _serious_ crush was on his best friend.

(See? Mixed luck.)

You see, Michael is a hopeless romantic, in a sense. He adores listening to cheesy romantic songs and he did stare at Jeremy with heart eyes and a sappy grin way back when. He means, he still does that _now_ , but now Jeremy stares right on back.

He had watched his fair share of television shows and movies centered around romance, and while he did love the notion that two people could love each other so much, they also tended to piss him off.

They painted love as some drama filled game where someone was bound to get hurt. It made his viewpoint on true love really mixed.

Plus, he had his own parents. Technically, Michael's a bastard. Not as in a rude sense, actually in the literal sense, as in his parents never married, and Michael had seen that as a normal thing for the majority of his life. He didn't even realize that they weren't married until he got to be a little bit older.

(His mom claims that he never was confident enough to propose, trying to paint the “break-up” as funny, but Michael knows the real truth hidden behind her fake smile. He knows that no wedding band made it easier for his father to just book it.)

So he saw his mom's heart shatter before his very eyes, and the hopeless romantic side of his burned out a little. He saw first hand how love, even a toxic love like this, could weaken a person so much.

(Imagine seeing the toughest person you know crying at your dining room table at three in the morning. Imagine hiding behind the doorway at the age of thirteen and just… watching it happen.)

Also, all of the humor and jokes based around cheating on your significant other really pissed him off sometimes. What was so hilarious about crushing the trust and love that one person had given you? So much, apparently. So much so that people actually tried to _defend_ cheaters with excuses like “they were going through a rough patch” or “if their s/o wasn't going to do *insert weird sexual shit*, then they had to find someone to do it”.

Bull. Shit.

Going back to the main topic at hand, every romance novel/movie/song always seemed to focus on a boy and a girl who were madly in love with each other and were basically the picture perfect couple. They were both conventionally attractive and there was always some stupid quirk to the both of them that set them apart from the crowd. Also, they were polar opposites of one another.

Michael pretty much knew right from the get go that that sort of relationship couldn't possibly exist and actually work. At least, he knew he'd never be in a perfect relationship.

And he never did end up being in that relationship.

Nearing the end of his Junior year of high school, he started dating his long time best friend Jeremy Heere, a boy with many imperfections.

Remember that the word “imperfections” doesn't immediately mean something negative. It means that Jeremy is like any other person. He's a human, and humans _can't_ be perfect.

For example, he:  
\- fidgets  
\- has PTSD  
\- has anxiety and depression

Those are what people would describe as imperfections. Michael would describe it as a human.

There are days when Michael goes over to Jeremy's house and they just spend hours laying down and talking because of Jeremy having a really off day. There are days when Michael can't even get out of his car when Jeremy is throwing himself at him and hugging him because “I missed you!”

(“I saw you three hours ago, Jer.”)

There are days that something small happens in Michael's eyes, but it's huge in Jeremy's, and he breaks down right then and there. There are days that they just get high and play video games in Michael's basement for hours like they used to.

Look back to the sentence where Michael stated how he never ended up being in a perfect relationship.

This was _his_ perfect.

It didn't meet media standards, nor did it meet anyone else's viewpoint of perfect, but it met his to a T.

He knew there would be a plethora of rocky patches in the course of their relationship; they're still two awkward and fumbling teenage boys with a lot of issues. That was inevitable.

They weren't a boy and a girl. They didn't have small problems, nor did they meet at a coffee shop or a hospital. They were… different, someone could say.

And they were still perfect to Michael.

Michael used to struggle with the idea of love. He couldn't imagine what it must be like to love one person and love them with all your heart.

Now he really could.

He could imagine what it felt like when Jeremy mocked him for his order in McDonald's and got pancakes instead. He could imagine what it felt like when Jeremy performed at the best of his ability on stage and jumped with excitement when the show ended. He could imagine what if felt like when Jeremy told him in the same soft voice every day, “I love you.”

Matching him in the sickly sweet voice, he responded with, “I love you, too.”

And he couldn't imagine not finding someone to love with all your heart for life.

Him not loving Jeremiah Heere? Impossible. Abso-fucking-lutely impossible.

Michael wouldn't have it any other way.

***

During the middle of May, the group decides to go and hang out. It was a long and heated debate, but they end up going to a park in the end.

It was a kind of big and really nice park, and it was hilarious to watch Jake try and fail to fit into a small plastic car.

Michael's sitting on the sidelines of a game of freeze tag. The game had been going on for a while now, and no one had known that Brooke could run that fast. They were learning now.

Christine runs over towards him, out of breath and grinning. She spins on her heel and plops down onto the wooden bench he was sitting on.

“Why aren't you playing?”

“I don't know,” he shrugs, glancing over towards her. “Freeze tag isn't really my thing.”

“Freeze tag is _everyone's_ thing.”

He shrugs again, watching Brooke run past. Both Rich and Jake are frozen in front of him, standing in weird positions and laughing. Chloe is frozen at the top of the slide, and Jenna is up there too.

“Did I get everyone?” Brooke asks, out of breath herself.

“Not me!” Jeremy shouts, grinning. He looks over to Michael and winks. “This is for you, babe!”

He unfreezes both Jenna and Chloe, and Brooke comes close to freezing him when he slides down the slide and jumps off, running to unfreeze Jake and Rich and succeeds. Michael claps and whistles.

“What a hero! Now only if you ran like that in gym!”

Jeremy sticks his tongue out and Michael laughs. He leans back on the bench to find Christine smiling at him. “What?”

“You two really are a pair, aren't you?” she says softly, and Michael blushes a little and nods. “I'm really glad he ended up confessing to you. I've never seen him happier.”

 _We sound like two old ladies,_ Michael thinks, but he doesn't voice it. He just agrees and stays quiet. In the light of the setting sun, he makes an impulsive decision. He and Jeremy had talked about it, so it was alright.

“Christine, can I tell you something?” he asks, words rushed. He turns towards her, and she turns towards him after seeing his nervousness.

“Of course.”

“Jeremy and I weren't really… dating… before,” he confesses and her eyes go wide, tilting her head a little bit.

“Elaborate, please,” she responds and Michael takes a deep breath, looking towards the playground before looking back at her.

“Jenna took pictures of the two of us that made us look like a couple and confronted me about it all the way back at the ending of February. I got nervous and I hate confrontation, so I told her we were dating, but we weren't.” He keeps his eyes on her, and she just looks a weird mixture of confusion and shock, which is what he would probably feel if he were in her position. “I told Jeremy, we came up with a fake dating ‘prank’, and we fake dated for about a month and three weeks.”

“Wait, so you- you guys-” she looked towards Jeremy. Michael looked too, and he was currently frozen. There was a grin on his face. “You're fake dating again?”

“Oh God, no,” he answers, shaking his head rapidly. “Everything from this point on is genuine.”

Christine slowly looks back at him. “... You had a crush on him during the month and three weeks, right?”

He slowly nods, wondering where she's going with this. She seems to put two things together and she gasps.

“Oh, Michael… you were in love with him, weren't you?”

“Uh… still am…”

“That must've sucked,” she says, and her blunt way of putting it makes Michael laugh.

“Kinda really did, Chris.” Jenna tags Jeremy and he runs. Rich chases him, so Michael assumes he's it now. “It felt like we were an actual couple most of the time too, so I had to end it before it got worse.”

She reaches out and puts her hand on his shoulder. He turns back to her, and her mouth is pulled into a tight line. “Why'd you go through with it, to begin with?”

“I suggested it.”

“You what-”

“I don't really know why. Thinking ‘bout it, I'm pretty sure I did because I wanted to know what it'd be like to date Jeremy, to have him only have eyes for me, ya know?” He lifts a hand to his mouth, biting his nails. He smiles behind his hand, though. “Kinda glad I went through it, though. It leads to Jeremy confessing his feelings to me, and here we are now.

Speak of the devil, and he shall appear. Jeremy jogs up to them, face red and smiling. Michael sees where Christine was coming from earlier; Jeremy hadn't smiled this openly and freely since the Squip. For once, he didn't carry himself like he was going to get shocked at any moment like he was okay with being himself.

“Hey, are you guys gonna join the game again?” He asks, pointing a thumb behind him. Jake got frozen upside down and Chloe’s laughing at him. “You're supervising like parents over here.”

“Me and Chris are the mom's of the group now, Jer. Your position has been demoted to weird uncle,” Michael teases and Jeremy gasps dramatically, pressing a hand to his heart.

“Can't I be the fun uncle at least? The weird uncle has to be Rich.”

“Uh-uh. He's the gay cousin.”

Jeremy and Christine laugh. Michael stands up and ruffles Jeremy's hair.

“Well, anyway, you guys should come play again.” Jeremy leans in and pecks Michael's lips. “Weird. Now I look at you and all I see is your mom.”

Michael swats at Jeremy and he runs back into the game. He then offers a hand to Christine, and she takes it, standing up.

“Now that I know what the genuine thing is like, I'm never going back to that fake stuff again,” he tells her and she grins.

“I'd hope not.”

They hop back into the game, and Michael is voted as it. He jokingly whines about it before switching into game mode. He tricks Jeremy into being frozen by offering him a kiss, claiming that he's frozen after he kissed him. He also hid under the stairs, tagging Brooke when she passes by and tagging Jenna when she started looking for him.

He eventually does tag everyone and passes on being it to Jeremy. The stars start to appear in the sky, and he grins, looking up at them, then looking back to everyone. He hears laughing and running, and his own heart pounding in his heart.

Michael decides then that maybe plastic wasn't so bad if it created something like this.

***

The end of May comes, bringing Jeremy's cousin's wedding with it, and Michael dresses as best he could with what he had to wear.

(Read: ditches the hoodie, wears a button up and black pants, along with dress shoes instead of sneakers.)

He considers wearing contacts and he does end up going with it in the end. It takes him a few minutes to put them in successfully, considering how little he wears them. He only tears up a little in the process.

He's sitting on his couch when he hears a knock on the door and he yells goodbye to his mom before opening the door to an equally as well dressed Jeremy.

He gives himself a few seconds to appreciate how he looks, and when he looks back towards Jeremy, he's staring at him red-faced.

“... Yes?” he asks slowly, and Jeremy shakes his head, smiling.

“I didn't expect to see you without glasses,” he admits, staring into his eyes.

“Like what you see,” Michael flirts jokingly and Jeremy nods. His smile falters a little and he shoves his shoulder. “Shut it, goof. Let's get going.”

As if on cue, Jeremy's dad beeps the horn. Michael gives him a look before stepping out the house, locking the door behind him and grabbing Jeremy's hand. He pulls him to the car, and they both get in the back, the fit kind of awkward because of their height.

“Hey, Mr. Heere,” Michael greets, and he smiles at him. They had gotten… weirdly close after the pants/saving Jeremy from himself incident. Michael wasn't complaining, though; one less parent to feel awkward around.

Mr. Heere began driving and Jeremy and Michael idly talked. After about ten minutes, a few droplets of rain started to come down.

“Aw, seriously?” Jeremy said, cutting himself off. He looked out the window and at the now pouring rain. “I would hate if it rained on my wedding day.”

Michael doesn't even think before he starts talking, and he realizes that what he's saying probably shouldn't be said about halfway through.

“Well, then we better pick a date where it… won't be… raining…”

Jeremy whips his head towards him, and he looks about as red as he feels. Michael looks away quickly and almost misses the knowing smile Mr. Heere sends them from the mirror.

“This is a cool song! T-turn it up, please!” he stutters out, trying to change the topic. Mr. Heere laughs, cranking up the volume anyway.

“Uh,” Jeremy responds with, and Michael glances over to him. He turns to look at his own lap, but he's smiling a little, so Michael counts it a win in his book.

***

Turns out that Jeremy's cousin really loves rain.

Turns out that he also loves space.

The wedding is space themed, and Michael's loving it. Galaxy table cloths and fairy lights hung up all along the building. Bridesmaids have stars all pinned on the bows around their waists and the groomsmen have stars pinned to their jacket above their heart.

 _Tumblr would've had a field day with this wedding,_ Michael thinks.

Mr. Heere leaves the table where they were sat to go talk to someone who Michael assumes is his brother. Jeremy waves a girl over and starts talking to her, and Michael feels a little bit out of place.

Well, it makes sense. He's at a wedding for a family that isn't his own. He also realizes the fact that on the off chance (maybe not such a rare chance) that he _did_ marry Jeremy, the majority of the people attending would attend _their_ wedding.

Michael decides to focus on the thought of marrying Jeremy instead of bringing attention to the feeling that he's intruding on a ceremony he shouldn't be at.

“Oh, Kennedy, this is Michael, my boyfriend,” Jeremy suddenly says, and Michael's head darts up. He hasn't even realized he was staring at his lap.

The girl, Kennedy, looks between the two of them before focusing on Jeremy again. “Wait, so you're…”

“Yes,” Jeremy responds sternly. “Is there a problem?”

Kennedy shakes her head. She turns towards Michael and holds out a hand, smile wide. “I'm his cousin. I was standing here, trying to figure out who you were for a solid five minutes before this idiot decided to introduce me to you.”

Jeremy shouts out a “hey” and Michael laughs, shaking her hand. “Yeah, sorry, I'm just that one really distant uncle no one really knows.”

She giggles a little and pulls back her hand. She looks between the two of them before frowning. “Hey, why aren't you two dancing?”

“Why aren't you dancing?” Jeremy counters, stumbling a little over his words, and Michael can tell he's trying to stall. Kennedy gives him a look, rolling her eyes.

“Because, Jeremy, some of us weren't graced with a date, so some of us can't go on the dance floor and awkwardly dance with ourselves.”

“A valid point,” Michael says, nodding.

Jeremy sputtered and looked at the two of them. “Well, what if Michael doesn't want to dance?”

Michael doesn't really want to dance. He thinks it would be really weird to just go and dance in front of all these strangers. Kennedy looks at him, and for the sake of the joke, he plays along, storing his insecurities away for later.

“Actually… I've been thinking about dancing for a while now.”

“Goddammit,” Jeremy mutters under his breath and both Kennedy and Michael laugh. He stands up, holding a hand out for Michael, and Michael grabs it, pulling himself up. “Let's go get this over with.”

“Have some enthusiasm!” Kennedy scolds and Jeremy glares at her before grinning ridiculously wide.

“Let's go embarrass ourselves in front of a large group of people because neither of us can dance!”

As they're walking towards the dance floor, Michael hears a cheer of “that's the spirit” behind them and he smiles, feeling a little more at ease.

Jeremy brings them to a slightly empty corner and just kinda stands there, tapping his foot. Michael is swaying a little to the music when it's switched off and replaced with a slow song. Jeremy gives him a wide eyed look and Michael grins, grabbing Jeremy's hands and putting them on his hips, winding his arms around Jeremy's neck and making the two of them sway.

“Like our first kiss,” he comments, and Jeremy goes a little redder, tightening his grip a bit. He groans and glances away.

“Don't remind me of that mess. I was literally frozen!

“I've been meaning to ask: why were you frozen?”

“Uh, maybe because I had been dreaming about kissing you for over a year by then?” Jeremy's look is kind of like “you really don't know the answer to that?”. “Also, you kissed me with no warning.”

“There was an amount of warning!”

“No warning whatsoever.”

Michael shakes his head with a smile on his lips. Jeremy's arms wrap around his waist and pulls him closer.

“I love you,” he says suddenly, and Michael can't stop the grin from forming.

“You're really going to make a point of saying it every day, aren't you?” he questioned and Jeremy nodded.

“Feel free to dump me if I forget.”

“I would never!”

They dance quietly after that, and Michael focuses on the soft sounds of the song and the feet shuffling on the dance floor. The sound of the steps overpower the music in his ears, and it overwhelmed him a little, reminding him that he's slow dancing with Jeremy in front of Jeremy's family.

Sure, he had seen some of them before, meeting them at Christmas time or the few Thanksgivings that he spent with Jeremy's family, but it's not like he remembered any of them. To them, it looks like some random dude is slow dancing with presumably straight Jeremy, and the thought makes him stumble a bit, his confident dancing faltering.

“You're stepping on my feet,” Jeremy cuts through his thoughts and he fixes himself immediately, forcing a small shy smile.

“Ah. Sorry.”

“What's wrong? Your whole mood suddenly changed.”

Michael considers hiding it, but he just decided to tell him. There were supposed to be no secrets between them, anyway. “I don't know, it just… it feels like everyone's eyes are on us, you know? Like I'm intruding.”

“Well, I like showing you off,” Jeremy responds and Michael gives him a look like “huh?”. Jeremy sees his confusion and moves on to explain it more. “I like to have people see you, and then see me with you. It has that sorta ‘woah’ factor, you know, the ‘woah, those two are together?’. Plus, I've wanted to date you for years now, so it's kinda satisfying for people to see us together, cause I just think, ‘yep, I finally got him, and I don't plan on giving him up’.”

Michael just looks at him with wide eyes and Jeremy glances away, turning his face to the side and looking at him out of the corner of his eyes. “Stop looking at me like that.”

Well, that surprised Michael. He feels the insecurity creep up a little more. “Like- like what?”

“Like I hung the stars or something. The no glasses thing is really startling me, dude, I've never seen you without them so this whole ‘big eyes’ thing is really… something.”

Michael grins again, feeling himself relax again. He pulls Jeremy even closer, and Jeremy trips over his own feet then.

“This is… really gay, dude,” Michael says, and the abrupt change in topic makes Jeremy choke out a laugh.

“You- you ruined the moment!” Jeremy exclaims and Michael shakes his head.

“I actually made it better.”

Jeremy leans in and kisses him suddenly, pulling away quickly. Michael's still left speechless from it.

“I really love you.”

“You'll never get tired of saying that, will you?”

“I'll say it til the day I die, sweetheart.”

Michael's own heart melts. “I love you too.”

Michael sees where he's coming from. He doesn't think he'll get tired of saying it either.

Now that he can freely kiss, make out with, and hug Jeremy, he'll never get bored of doing it. Now that their relationship is genuine, he'll never be tired of it.

Now that their love is mutual and clearly expressed, he'll never stop saying it.

And their love will never be plastic.

Michael obviously can't tell the future. He doesn't know how long they'll stay together, or how much time he has left with Jeremy by his side. He can't read minds either, so if there ever came the day that Jeremy wanted to break up with him, he wouldn't be ready.

But for the moment, he'll take everything he can get. Swaying on a galaxy under the bright shine of lights, he'll allow himself to be happy and optimistic.

Pressing into Jeremy's chest and feeling his heartbeat, he'll love him, and let nothing take that away from him.

He'll let this be one of the only times he won't let his mind get to him.

Michael will just let love rule, and it turns out to be one of his best decisions, even though it screwed him over in the past.

But the past is not now, and neither is the future, so Michael just relaxes and loves and sways.

And he's truly happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOWZA ALSO THE END  
> (my head hurts ouchie)  
> WOOOOOO  
> School starts soon, so I'm probably going to be MIA for a while sorry!!!  
> On the bright side, I fought against my writer's block and insecurities and finished thREE STORIES THIS SUMMER UM???? IS THIS REAL LIFE????!!!!!!!!!  
> ANYWAY  
> I LOVE YOU GUYS THANK YOU FOR READING AND COMMENTING AND JUST BEING THERE IN GENERAL!!


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